A song from a Friend.....

A friend told me to listen to this

More Country <--- "Missing an Angel" By Johnny Reid ......sorry about the video its an amateur one and blurry (Sound is clearer via limewire) - but the song is nice and so with the words....

And he is Canadian too!

Wrong answer

I think I just joined facebook to snoop around and find out whats been happening with people I know from the past. Nosey me.

FB convo this am with a friend:

Me: ".......my league has finished and it sucks cause now I notice my pants feeling tighter..."
Guy: "mmmmm .... you in tight pants..."
Me: "Yes, tight pants with a muffin top" hehe
Guy: "Yeah. Not a good visual. Thanks."

BUZZZZ! Wrong answer!

Right answer:
Guy: "Well your muffin is cute no matter what" - or anything similar to this anyhow......



I really should stop with the self-depreciation comments.

Lovely. Just effin Lovely.

Well despite my introspective analyzing as to Why oh Why am I single (trying not to put the blame elsewhere) and my simple simple question as to where are all the good men.....

I bring you this.......

Its just a thought, but somehow I feel like I am swimming upstream.

Words Women Use:

(excuse my laziness - just not in the mood to write much. This is an OLD email that was sent to me)

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut the fuck up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five
Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in
fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Do It and DIE!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying FUCK YOU !

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong",
for the woman's response refer to # 3.

Feeling Blah :(

Frustrated. Sudden dip in hormone level probably......

Anyhow, was cleaning the crap outa my place today - I seem to scribble notes everywhere and I have pieces of paper all over the place...
I tend to jot down songs that I like when I hear them - I will share one (but I will NOT put the video here - you will see why - sexy glasses on the drummer and the keyboardist - dont ya think? This video is older than me whoo hoo - makes me feel just a tad bit younger)

Pick up line of the day:
(One day I plan on using this on one VERY lucky guy)

"Your the cutest thing that I ever did see,
I really love your peaches, want to shake your tree"

Be aggressive, dont be too aggressive ......

- do this dont do that.....

*Sigh*

Dear David,

Why must life be Oh so complicated?!

Double Dipping

Since I was on the subject of Married men in my last post.....
I'm going to fish out a post from my drafts :
.......................

(Feb 6/07):

I was contemplating joining the gym in my area instead of paying a chunk load just for the squash league. I had a few visits to the front desk with a few different people. There is this one man in particular that sticks in my head. I dont want to seem fulla myself or have such an inflated head - but a gal kinda knows when a simple look is beyond a simple look. There is the smile to it - but "interested smile" and somewhat of a smirk, that they cannot get rid of no matter how much they try to be serious when explaining the details of the membership costs to you. And there is also the fact that I only met him once to sign in my name in passing and quite a few weeks later and no other encounters, he knows my name without me having to give my card. With all the traffic that gym sees, maybe he just has an amazing memory. He too has a gold ring on his wedding ring finger.


Those with a blog and those attached to their pc's know how addicting chatting by IM can be. I met a person once in IM (not in person). It was back in '04 when I was addicted. (hehe - admitting your addiction is half the battle - I digress) He stood out for a number of reasons, some of which are his intellect, his genuine interest in me as a person, his thoughtfulness, his personality, his attentiveness, his humor, the things we had in common and that he was a good listener. He was married. I found this out early on, but only after his personality had already intrigued me. I continued talking to him abit - more so about his family and his wife. He seemed to be troubled - despite how highly successful he was. I was trying to get him to realize why he fell in love with his wife in the first place. Maybe I was just too optimistic and blindly believed that I could actually patch up the rough spots in his marriage. He told me of a "friend" he was getting to know in his city that he was contemplating having an affair with. I told him how that hurt to hear that, how disheartened I was and discouraged - especially with the stupid ideals I had about wanting to be married myself and finding "the one" and how he supposedly had that already and was about to throw that all away! Something a single - somewhat hopeful person would not understand I guess. I didnt understand how someone could not talk to his own wife about his problems. How someone that is supposed to be your best friend as well as lover would not try to understand when you confide in them.
Despite our interesting talks - we lost touch. And that is a good thing. I would like to assume it was because he realized that talking to his own wife about his issues was what he needed to do, instead of telling me all this. I would like to think that that happened and that he is finally happy.

I remember back in the day, when I had a crush on Beef boy. A few months after I got over it he started talking about his gf. (who knew?) But he was talking crap about her. Oh lovely. I would say hello to her as she came into the school and ring up his office to let him know she was in and I would hear discouraged groans on the other end. He would tell me and all the rest of the staff how "crazy" she was and all the psycho things she did that made him miserable. Of course he said this to us to again support for team-beef-boy. But it didnt sway me. It only confirmed my decision that getting over him was the best thing I could have done.

I look around and wonder why it is that many married/ attached men (or married/attached women) are the ones that seem more active in finding someone else? Or connecting with someone else? A friend said today - why couldnt that attention come from a single guy instead of a married one?
I asked - is marriage that boring?! If so, why are many of us single people striving to find that or find our "life partner". The grass is always greener I suppose. It almost (I stress the word - almost) seems as though many of those attached-eye-wanderers are the ones looking to play around or have their cake and eat it too - than the singletons. I could be wrong in many ways of course. Its like they want to tap into "fresh meat" (singletons) while they have their own meat at home to have. Greedy? Maybe its partly that too.

But really I call them: Double dippers.
They have their chip, use the dip, and then turn around and use that same chip to help themselves to more dip! When others are standing there, chip in hand, ready for dip - but it ends up being spoiled and F-ed up cause someone F-ed it over. Ya know what you are left with dont ya? Thats alot of spoiled dip and alot of hungry party goers who end up drinkin themselves silly and having to nibble on the dry chips or even plain veggies, wondering where all the good dip has gone.

Or maybe it can be simply that they made a mistake. They are second guessing their decision. I can understand that........ when it comes to buying shoes or a top that doesnt look right with the rest of my wardrobe.
But to them I say:
Tough Lucky Buddy! Made your bed now lay in it!
Sheesh!
People cannot be compared to shopping (as I questioned before)
Once you made your decision, take the responsibility and respect that and the person you chose.

Hah! Maybe I am too naive and too harsh. Heaven forbid this happen to me. But still from what I have seen lately - its not right.
If you want to "change your mind" or you are not happy, do everyone a favor and let go of the one you are with, so both of you can move on. This can hold true not only for the marrieds but also for the takens (ppl in relationships). No overlapping ppl, no double dipping. It spoils the dip for everyone else.

Did I just save myself from looking like a fool?

Or am I a fool?

Probably the later. I hope the former. Cause things happen for a reason .... right?Right!?
Gah! I am so frustrated with myself! (yet again)

So tonight was my last class of Wing Chun.
I decided about a week ago that - despite my interest in this form of martial arts - I am not signing up for the next class. Not this spring anyways.
Why ? Mostly due to the instructors (- seriously, is Halitosis contagious? or another form of self defence? gez) And partly due to the fact my only good free rest night is Wednesday night - which staff parties and Rib night are usually reserved for (now watch - the rest of my Wednesday nights will remain free).
Well I found the instructors to favor a particular girl in the class and it wasnt me. Thats fine - despite my jealous tendencies. But the last 2 classes I found them to be quite condescending to ME. Things like "oh well you cannot master this move so its best you just dont use it at all" (I only practiced it for 5 min) Or, waving his hand in front of my face, pointing me out and saying "helllooo hellooo do you understand what I just said?" Or maybe I am just being too sensitive. Whatever the case is - I may need to take a break and he needs to take a breath mint - or at least brush his teeth before class! Blegh!

But my frustration comes with me not saying something where - maybe - just maybe - something could / should have been said. No, not with my instructors. But this guy in my class. Actually, I believe I labelled him as "the married guy" in my last post about this class.
Ya married. And NO. - I dont go for taken men.
Thing is he has been wearing this gold ring on his wedding ring finger so I figured he was married. End of story right? I saw it a few times then never checked again after that.
Average guy. Average looking. Actually very nice, easy going, kind smile, welcoming, friendly, good humoured. (ya - I hear the "uh ohs")
Oh ya and did I mention thoughtful? He actually burned a CD for me that the instructor lent out to the students in the 2nd and 3rd classes but I missed those classes. He didnt even know if I was coming back to the class or had dropped out. Nice huh?
Oh yeah back to the ring thing. So he seemed like this average guy, who I figured was married so I didnt think much of him. Until he started to remind me of this guy I know. This guy I know who I am attracted to alot and think very highly of.
Gah! This link. Stupid link. All it takes is that simple link and then he starts to look more attractive to me.
So I force my mind to leave it at that. But I kept hearing this voice saying - shucks - why do the nice guys have to be taken?! Why couldnt this guy be unattached? Why? Maybe the ring was nothing - you know - like some weird looking school ring or something. Or maybe he is of a nationality where the "wedding ring finger" is on the right hand instead of left? He never even mentioned his other half - like the others did, even about Valentines day - he said he was working late that night. Maybe he doesnt know any better about what ring to wear on what finger? Maybe? Please? A tiny chance of? Nah, didnt think so.

Soooooz tonight I notice that he wasnt wearing his ring. Nada.
How long has this been happening?
Hummm? Ok stop thinking 'hummm'! No No he is married. Married. Maybe he just took it off since we have to wear hand wraps and that would be uncomfortable when punching? But we arent punching today - just going over the Kata/ forms...? I was confused.
Maybe I was confused because I was hoping he wasnt married.

So I was talking to him at the beginning of the class and he asked if I was going to join the next class.
"No it doesnt really go with my schedule - I have missed alot of classes already. How about you?"
Yeah he is joining the next class and we continue on with the small talk about other schools that teach Wing Chun - blah blah blah. Then the instructors come in to begin class and mess up my convo with him.

Class was uneventful. It ended and the next one starts next week. I said my goodbyes and left the class after he did. He was walking in front of me and was already at his car when I got out of the building. The end.
Then as I got into my car I had the realization of the whole finality of it all. So I had this opportunity to meet this nice person and that is that. Finito. Did I use that opportunity well? Was there supposed to be more? I got overwhelmed with a feeling of loss. Loss that I could have - AT LEAST - said something to clear up my confusion. I had nothing to lose right?

Driving home I thought that I could have at least said "So is your wife joining you in the next class?"

Wow talk about delayed reaction. I always think of what to say only after the fact.

Am I a fool for not saying something? Or did I save myself from making a fool of myself?
Do I kick myself for another opportunity lost?

Well, its over with. So I'm just going to try to push this frustration aside and go with my first assumption. He is married. And he is a nice guy. And its really good the class is over. Especially since he is married..... right?!

Time for a change

"Where are all the good single men? No, not the moma's boy with a jellyfish back bone, not the "I'm really in the closet and afraid to come out" guy, not the commitment Phobic who really wants to leave his options open, and not the "I need a woman to support me" kind of guy either. Simple question but there is no answer......"


So this is what has been the intro to this singles blog since the beginning of time.... Can you believe I only had only a handful of guys attempt to answer this question via email? Some who wanted to be my friend, some who wanted to learn the English language from me (haha - stop laughing - grammar is so not my fortay) but a couple of answers that stuck - things we kinda already know but it is just confirmed when actually written to me....

1)Hi there, came across your blog, read your description, and just wanted to quickly give you a simple answer. They're shy. Many (not all) of the good single men are just very shy. Not spineless, just shy, so you never really get to met them. Doesn't help you much I realize, but just thought I'd let you know. - Tim

2)I think it's geographically messed up so moving to a better area will give you better results. -Benjamin

Well lets start with #2. Sometimes it is true. He lives in Silicone Valley and there are apparently more men than women there. So his selection of women are filled with the "snotty type" since these gals have their pickins. He found his gal in another city. I agree with this in the sense that it has to do with the ratio imbalance I alluded to along time ago. ie: More men than women = women have their pick, so most likely they dont always treat the men so nice. More women than men = the men have their pick so the crop of men available arent always behaving at their best - they dont need to. (These are big/ though valid generalizations - so dont harp on me - not all people are like this)
A glance over stats Canada said that there are more men than women in ------- city and -----city. So I think if times become desperate Ima fly my ass up there :) Oh and by the way, you didnt think I would actually name off those cities did you?! In a ratio imbalanced world - Its every single gal for her self! haha.

Okies on to #1 - cause this is my biggest beef. Fine Tim, they are shy. I get it. And I have seen it. And NO - this absolutely doesnt help me. Me - being shy myself. Yay. So we sit in our silences waiting till we grow grey hairs before someone makes the first move, and by then it would probably mean someone finally saying "Hey, can you pass the Polident" .

Gah! To those shy but NICE guys - I may even have seen a glimpse of you - a'la loch ness monster- in the corner of the bar for a split second - I say to them - GET UP OFF YOUR ASSES AND COME OVER ! Be the MAN dude. Be the Man! That is why some shy nice guys end up with women that whop their asses. Dont cry to me when your Norbit's Gal comes beating you up for looking my way. Ya should have done something when you had the chance buddy, you should have. How does it help us nice people to procreate nice kids and spread all our niceness when you sit at home or in the corner of the bar and joke with your guy friends and do not leave your comfortable shell? Some nice guys complain about how gals are mean and turn guys down all the time and thus they dont want to expose themselves to such harsh behavior. Well, have you thought that the reason our defences are always up is because we are sick and tired fending off the obnoxious greaseballs you have left us with?! Of course 'nice guys will finish last' if ya just sit there and not speak up for yourself!

Here is my agreement. I will give you the eye contact when I see you - dont you turn your head away from me - this is a feat in itself for me. Then I will also give you a smile. And when I smile at you - dont sit there confused and content with just that. I will spell it out for you : that is sign-launguage for the go-ahead. Now with all that - which is an effort in itself for a shy gal like me, I would want you to make the first move. Say hello, start up a normal conversation, no lines, just be you meeting me. Yes you! You First. Not me first. You! Call me old fashioned. But for some strange reason, I believe that if I were to make the first move, then I would have to do the first everything. And by first everything - I mean : I would have to decide if we should go on a date, then I would have to ask for your number, then I would have to decide when, and then I alone would have to decide where to go, then I would have to pick you up, then I would have to drive you home, then I would have to initiate the first kiss, then I would have to change your friggin diapers - sheesh ..... and so on and so on. Then that would mean that I would be wearing the pants in this relationship and this would mean I would have bigger balls than you. I would be more manly than you. And frankly, I dont want a girly man. Not only does it make us the man, it also can make us the "aggressor, the stalkerish psycho gal, or the desperate easy gal". What ever happened to the Gentlemen? To Chivalry?

So to rehash - I will give you the signal, you speak up first, then I will reciprocate back - and I will be friendly, though shy, and maybe reserved at first (because I will be figuring out if you are the greaseball or the shy nice guy). But your kind, honest personality will shine though, and same with your hidden cuteness - and it will be a wonderful balanced relationship - where we share in our equal awesome wonderfulness and where you wear your pants and be the man and I wear my sexy jeans and feel like a gal. We wear them only until neccessary of course. ahem.

So seriously, to the Nice 'manly' single guys that I am looking for: take off that girly dress, stop staying at home watching 24, or the game or hibernating at a sports bar or playing hockey and going straight home, or waiting around to hang out with your married friends or getting lost in the green at a deserted golf course get up off your ass and LOOK FOR ME! For crying out loud I am trying to get out there and look for you - dont make me do all the work. Re-claim your manhood.

I think I will need to change my intro. Since it is quite out dated for how I feel..... gotta think of something soon......

What am I Reading?

Humm I just been tagged by...... a man - a virgin man at that too! I'll take it! How fitting - since this. is. my first. tag. be gentle. haha :-P

Anyways - what am I reading ..... well cant you tell by my grammar? I dont read.
Actually - I'm reading one of them Oprah list books - its a thin book, a self help book of course - and I am taking my good ol' time getting through it..
Its called The Four Agreements - by Don Miguel Ruiz - the beginning was alittle out there and confusing but now that I have started reading about the actual agreements - its getting pretty good. I'm just on the "be impecable with your word" agreement - pretty interesting what he says about gossip. Sometimes we dont even know we are spreading it. And its interesting how he explains that what we say always reflects itself on us in the end. I guess he explains things we already know - but it helps to hear it again and explained so well by someone else.

Yes - there are many books that I have started and have not got around to finishing yet either....
-The automatic billionare - David Bach (thanks to my bank lady)
-some old Tax book - Tim Crestnick
-Confessions of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella - cant seem to get into this

Though my favorite book of all time - one that I really love reading over and over - especially when making life decisions is The Alchemist - by Paulo Coehlo

And that's about it. Now I have to tag a few people myself.....

teahouse

anny

stucky

knitgirl

Im not into Country

But for some reason I have been posting a couple of mushy songs that are. I was talking to a friend of mine from KY last night. I was listening to her playlist - which of course had alot of country in it. I saw a couple of CD covers as well. Humph. Some of them boys are kinda cute! Wouldnt it be so funny if this asian gal went country ......
Anyhow, another mushy song whose words I like are posted here.


listen to Rascal Flatts - Bless the Broken Road

Pretty hopeful - despite all my rants on this blog.

Belated advice....

Came across this today....... good. I wasnt doing anything bad, phew!
But from this experience I know that it is confusing as anything and my mind was spinning - and there were only two.

Happy Valentines

Despite the singledom looming over me on this dreaded excluding-singles day.....

I was driving in the snow storm this morning (gah was an hour late for work!) and had to take a pic(sorry I have a bad cell cam) of this unsuspecting person....

He was walking through the blowing snow, along a busy stretch of road, during early morning traffic, holding his large, brightly wrapped, bouquet of roses for his valentine - for all to see. How sweet is that?! In a world where most guys are shunned for being outwardly romantic, being called whipped and cheesy, or unmanly and all the like. Brave of him. You go guy! You go!

....ok the day has only begun. And I am in a good mood. And I am wearing red.

Ask me at the end of the day and I will probably be sick of seeing things like this .........

When to call, when not to call?

Well I wasnt going to post about this and I even let a draft sit in the back ground since the end of January. But I was giving in to my addiction (blog reading) again during work today (shhh) and I came across a blogger who brought the topic up again.

My draft just went everywhere so I will try to summarize here (so 50 pages long instead of 100 ha!)

A few weeks back I got together with some old HS friends. At one point it was my gfs and I interrogating a single guy friend of ours about when/if it is appropriate to call a) after a first date b) When you want to end it.

A few things he said stuck in my mind:
1) Apparently some gal he went out with "broke the rule!" about calling after a good first date. Apparently, she called him (or was it an email I forget). Either way - it was wrong. Why? I asked. Because, he was supposed to do it first. He was supposed to initiate the first contact. Guess it made her look needy or something?
2) I refused to accept this! Especially since this particular guy friend also thought it OK to call a gal 4 days - erm FOUR DAYS! - after a first date to say he wanted to go out again and make plans. Of course my gfs disagreed with this. We said at this point - she would have well forgotten you and figured you were not interested. Anyhoo - side note: apparently #1 is supported by the recent Cosmo mag I glanced over during my 3 hour pit stop at Philly. I hardly ever read Cosmo. Go figure.
3) So to finish expanding on point #1) this guy friend said that he just didnt contact her back. IE. Didnt call her back. Ya. To end it he took the passive route. The route that leaves the other person thinking - what went wrong. Did he get my message? Did he miss it an think I was ignoring him? What is the reason he didnt think it could work? Yep all that nonsense stuff that rumbles in the mind of someone who is not given closure. Even if they can rightfully assume they know the reason, it would still be good to hear it (I think).

Of course I gasped at #3 when he said this. Thinking of a particular instance, I thought gah - who ever takes that route is total jerk, a wuss, own up to it an take responsibility, give a reason dont chicken out and let things fade to black, be mature! All this guy friend said was "well, I'm sure they can take the hint anyways". That doesnt make it better. That statement actually makes the gal look worse for not reading between the lines. How mean is that?! Yes, this passive omission is wrong people, wrong !Dont do it! If you are going to turn someone down say it! Give them closure. (so they can hate you in a milder way hehe). A gf's explanation to this was - "well guys just dont want to be looking like the bad guys, they dont want to be the one to bring the bad news" - WEll tell ya what - It actually makes them look worse than bad by doing this. It reminds me of when a little kid is confronted with a question they dont want to answer and they
sit in a corner with their hands over their ears saying "la-la-la-la-la" hoping the question will go away.

Ahhhh ok so I posted about this. My draft was collecting dust which was great because I felt I was over it. Until I read this post today and this one, and I had to put in my 5 cents :) And he is right, they are assholes ....... erm........ sorta ........... lemme explain .......


-------------- (take break here for long winded story)-----------------


BUT all this being said - I aint perfect (shocking huh?). And I find myself in this same situation. Role reversal. So I went out with this nice guy a couple months ago. Everything about him was great but I wasnt attracted to him. Then his one sided attraction made it seem like he was ..... needy. I told him I wasnt on the same page as him. Needed time away. And didnt want to lead him on, because even after the time away, I cant say that there will be anything anyways. I wouldnt have minded to stay friends because we had a good time hanging out. I said I would/ may/might contact him at the end of January to see how he was doing. Now its February and Im thinking (cause of my rampant wuss accusations earlier) he needs to be told. Oui? Non?
Here is the kicker.

I just dont feel like it.

Bleh.

pooh on me.
No - dont thats gross. Its an expression, not a fetish.

But still.

I'm thinking : I dont feel like dealing with an explanation, and thinking of ways to 'put it nicely' and yes, turning someone down makes me feel down and bad, not good.And I dont wanta feel like crap. And I'm not sure anymore if I do want to remain as a friend to this person in fear that it would give this person hope. And I rather cut it off now than lead anyone on. And he kinda seems needy and that makes me feel icky.
(side note: if someone says they need a break - give it to them, dont send them notes to remind them of you during this break time - it only puts them off)

So there. I answered my own thoughts as to why jerks dont call back, when they say they will or make it seem they will.

...........................

But alas I am not a jerk or a wuss - I will talk to him about it. Maybe this week. Not so close to the Vday though. I will. No, I'll try. I'll try to talk to him and give him closure. Though I think by now he has it, and he probably has moved on to some other gal. Which would be good. Then I would look like the foolish one. But thats ok.

Vday approaching

Ha! with Vday approaching I might as well post about it now, since I will be spending that night at my self defence class anyways (yes, instead of going out on a romantic date I will learning how to fend off, and cause bodily harm to men instead - ya wonder why I'm single huh)

Well - I'm not really posting much (as a singleton) but this article was a cheesy, yet distracting read for the day.....

It states:
{Wear it on your sleeve: “I always wore red on Valentine's Day to show that I was embracing the holiday even though I was single,” said my friend Carolyn, who has since met and married her Valentine. “I thought that might save me from any ‘poor, pitiful single you’ comments and prevent anyone from tiptoeing around me that day fearing that I was feeling blue.” And it worked, Carolyn said: “How can anyone surmise that you’re feeling blue if you’re decked out in red?”}

I guess I will have to put away my "all-black-dont-ask-me-anything-and-stay-away" outfit for another day and try to don some red on the 14th ....... I'll see if it works......

Watch Videos:

Love You Lately (Daniel Powter) Video Codes by Video Code Zone

Just a thought

(yay not another rant)

I was reading through a few favorite blogs and as usual, one link led to another.
Then, as I read some guy's interesting blog, I thought to myself - What if you were reading a blog of someone you knew - not someone you were close to, but just someone you knew. But because of the anonymity of it all - you never found out that you actually knew this person from the blog world, in real life. And what if this person was someone you didnt really care for but in the 'blog world' you admired their thoughts and how they wrote, maybe even communicated via comments back and forth. And you just carried on with life - not liking this person in real life and then liking them from their blog - and both never connected.

Yeah - probably wouldnt happen - given enough information you would probably figure out who that person was I suppose.

Just a thought though.

Dang I'm bored!

Just a thought, now carry on with what you were doing...... :)

Sometimes a smile is all you get

Yesterday I was wandering through Terminal F of the Philadelphia International
Airport trying to kill my 3 hour wait time for my transfer flight back to T.O.
As I was wandering I was noticing that there were quite a few good looking fellows walking around that airport as well. Who knows - must be my fixation with PA or the fact I was coming from Orlando Airport - full of families and children.
As I was walking down one section - I noticed a very handsome Yum of a man walking toward me going the opposite way.
Lets listen to what I was saying in my head shall we?
Ok Ok dont stare or glare, look away, now casually glance back, .... whoa niiiiiice, 1 second only, Ok look away again, hey wait a minute - was he looking at me too or just glancing my way by accident? Naw couldnt be. He is in a nice suit, I am in my jeans and hoodie. Ok descretely check him out again - one second glance, then look away again - hey he is looking back at me. Humm. I'd say late 20s or early 30s. Niiiice. Ok he passed. Im not going to turn and look past my peripheral vision. (This all took a matter of seconds btw)

Wow that was one piece of eye candy. Black suit, (or was it dark navy?) and blue button down, crisp collar shirt, tall, short hair and brown eyes. No ring. And he doesnt look like he swings the other way. Good stuff all around. It was Sunday - was he coming back from Church? Or leaving a business or professional conference? Or probably someone's Saturday night male escort?

Anyhow that moment came and went and I forgot about it. I looked at the time - I knew my flight was at 1pm. I walked back in the direction I came and checked my boarding pass. Boarding time 12:25?! what the?! - Just then when I had the 'What the?!' face on, it changed to a 'oh hey now' kinda face - cause it was Brown eyes again! He comes right out of the washroom directly in front of me - wowza. He was just a few metres in front of me - looking directly at me. He continued walking to pass me and was looking at me still. And me - looking at him. Was he looking at me or looking at me look at him or vice versa? hahaha. Seriously - it seemed all slow- mo from there. At that point it would be rude to just look away (ha - us Torontonians are used to being that way), so I gave him a nice smile (Unusual for this here T.O gal) He gave me a warm smile back. We continued to look at each other smiling for a total of - 2 seconds more then we continued on to what we were doing.

I make my way to my gate and have a seat. Brown eyes man is no where to be seen. Oh well - I thought - thats how it goes in airports people coming and going. I check the time and ponder if I should whip out my bagel and cream cheese and start munching away like the hungry pig that I am. Just then who comes walking toward the gate? Brown eyes. Gah! He is going to T.O too!
Thing is, this time he sees me and does what all us in T.O do - the usual. Takes a glance, then looks forward and walks to his seat, as if we didnt smile at each other a few minutes ago. Here, it seems the familiar are quick to be strangers again when out of context - if there is any context to be made.

My seat was no where near his on the plane. Then a buncha other ppl from some cancelled flight came in to fill up every seat so we were set in our places.

The end.

Anti-climactic yes? yes.

You see, in the movies (or in my head) I would luck out and would have been booked to sit right beside him. And he wouldnt of had that T.O 2nd reaction. I would have commented on the book he was reading and he would have commented on the book I was reading. Then at the end of that hour flight we would have enjoyed each others company so much and exchanged numbers.
Then I would say, 'the end'. (with a 'happily ever after' of course - since I was coming from Orlando)

But nooooooo, the story goes: they smile at each other, the end.
Nothing else but a smile. The end.
And that is all you are given. Even though we lucked out enough to be in the same city at the moment, on the same flight and going to the same city, but still -
The end.

Yes long story for such and anti-climactic ending.

So Mr. Brown eyes on flight 4010 US Airways, gate F26 thanks for the smile even though that is all we were given....

"Everybody Wang Chung tonight.."

ha I think I am showing my age :P

Actually, it is Wing Chun.
Some self defence thing I just started tonight. Yes - Im too lazy to actually take the real Karate stuff - or maybe it is called being impatient? I have tried Wen-do, Aikido and now this. Its just an 8 session class.
Its different - cant quite make out if it is for me or not.
Im a wuss, I cannot get too injured, especially my hands - need them for work. So just show me the moves to kill and Im good to go - haha kidding kidding. I dont want to kill anyone. Or any guy for that matter............... yet.........kidding again..... really I am.

Anyhoo, its a combat system developed by Monks long ago, that is based on the "Conservation of Energy" idea. (Gah wish it could train my mind to stop over thinking - that is where I expend most my energy). I'm excited!
That is the good part.
Now the bad parts.
So we were going over deep breathing techniques. The instructor had to show me how to - cause he was going around correcting everyone in the class. Gah I almost died! How can I deep breathe when he has bad breath?! Thats enough of a combat technique to have me pass out! Then when he talks he foams at the sides of his mouth. Gah! I gotta bear with this - look away look away and ask questions from afar.

Ok where was I and why am I posting this here.... Oh yes the class - quite small I must say. How embarrassing. (some didnt show up) But I guess I would learn better I think? 3 gals and 2 guys. - HA! ratio thing again. One guy is older - like say 55? and the other young guy- (younger guy as in my age) - well he is married. And the gals - we are young - I think I may be in the middle age. One is engaged and the other - I duno if she has a bf but shes not married.

And that is why - when they say you have to get out there and do things to meet guys - you have to join things you actually really like to join (I do like self defence classes) and not join only to meet men - cause if you join things only to meet men - you will be saddly disappointed and down a few $$.

And if you think this class is bad - as far as potentials, I wont even mention my squash league - yeah a whole freakin league!

But luckily I enjoy these both very much, and I cannot wait to do more this year! Hopefully, something has gotta give. C'mon - please?!!? If not Ima use what I learned and kick some .....!

Lazy Mushy Post

Warning - Im in a mood. Mushy mood. I was listening to an old CD today and heard a song I know the words to but just today I saw it differently....


Push

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
Youve seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

Chorus
You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
Youre the one true thing I know I can believe in
Youre all the things that I desire you save me you complete me
Youre the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do cause youre too good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far youll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go

Chorus

There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise Id drown
But you pick me up & brush me off and tell me Im OK
sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day

Chorus
- Sarah Mclachlan

Quote from a friend....

Was talking with a friend tonight about recent happenings and relations......

She mentioned a quote from a poster she has in her room.
I dont think I can remember the exact words, but I will take a stab at it.......

"They hurt you once, Shame on them.
They hurt you twice, Shame on you."
(thanks L! :) )

Knowing is an interesting thing. I guess sometimes we cant all live things by theory. Sometimes we have to go through the hurt ourselves to learn it.

What does love mean?

.... An email that I recieved the other day........


A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,

"What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6

(We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a
contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly
gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Hyper

Okay, my co-worker called me early this morning to say he was sick.
That means - maybe I may get some of his straggler patients wandering in and I may have to see them if need be and if I have the time.
So from 7:30 am I've been on adrenaline.

Been licking my wounds this week - can you believe I actually felt hurt by that "Bad" guy?! Gah! Yeah I can kick myself. I preech about not falling prey to "just LOOKS - no substance there" and the fact I KNEW it going into it that he wasnt too into me - I just wanted to have alittle fun. I mean, I knew he wasnt "future" material. So I wasnt puttin my eggs in his basket. But I guess its a pride thing. Maybe even a "just for the chase" thing. Nothing of any substance. So I got "I think you are gorgeous, I want to go out with you again" to "I think I will be busy for the next couple of weeks" (ie. rest of my life) from one day to the next with not much contact inbetween - Yeah he's probably gettin' some from some skank from the ski trip. I think I could have accepted that answer more better than the former. Honesty is my policy.
Guys - Please - have the balls enough to SAY WHAT YOU FEEL AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
Nuff said.

So yes been dealing with the round about "why?" questions in my head - cause that is what I do - over think things. But as a friend said "ya just gotta let it go" - and another friend said "he doesnt deserve to have you even think of him this much". I agree - expending too much wasted energy at the moment.

One thing I can say: Its good to have friends to talk things out with - from sister in laws to anyone that will listen - no matter how idiotic I sound and ones that can take you out in the middle of the week for 2 Long Islands and an Apple Martini. (Ty R!) Slowly Im gettin my Mojo back and I actually feel so hyper I want to go on some mad dating rampage spree at the moment. Its good to re-affirm why it is that I preech what I do and actually learn it myself even if it means getting alittle injured in the process. Being Emo is all good, makes me know Im alive. And it definately makes me more sypathetic to the guys I turn down. "Worst thing you can do is Lead a person on"

Thing with being injured in the game of flirtations and the sexes is that I tend to "generalize" statements after. Which is not a good thing. Which also leads me to have "issues" (yeah well tell me someone who doesnt have issues?). I guess I should take it as: that is how that type of person is - dont take it personally cause we dont all have to match each other, listen to my gut feeling, dont be swayed by the sexy eye candy before me, or swayed by my raging hormones and his empty compliments.

BUT so I really shouldnt generalize and say that I will never believe a "salesman/sales rep" nor a guy that hides behind his "passion of cycling" when in reality, he just simply enjoys shaving his legs and wearing spandex and riding so close to other men that do the same. Ya. I wont think that. Really I wont. But it makes me feel better at the moment so I will.

Belated Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!!!

As for me well, I am finally on the mend. I think.
Been sick with some cold virus/sore throat thingy since Boxing day.
No fun. No fun at all.

It was worse than it sounds. Throat swelling, no sleep, hacking cough, bloody phlegm, ears sore, head ache, stiff neck, eyes tearing, nose running, sinus congestion.

So that means I began the year cancelling most of my work days - And that means I am that much behind - a whole weeks worth of patients. It means I missed out on the New Years Celebration I planned to attend. Was home alone, in bed before 12. And I cancelled some meetings with old friends - who actually wanted to set me up with a friend of her husband! And I missed out on other outings with my cousin and my little nephew - who enjoyed skating this holiday break. I also had to cancel on meeting up with some old friends who I lost touch with for abit.

Yep. I was home (apart from the 2 doctors appointments I went to) since the 27th of December. So much for my social calender huh?

I also planned to attend some speed dating thing (yea I duno if it is good just needed to get out there) but since I am backed up with work I dont think it would be nice of me to skip off early for that event.

Wow. Way to kill my mojo. Damn F-ing Cold Virus!

Oh and to top it off I have a stinkin feeling that that is the end of the other date I had too. You know, with the "bad" guy. Probably found some snow buni during his ski trip to Montreal. Go figure.

Someone and the powers that be are all telling me something dont you think?
Stay single - stay single. I guess me finding someone would cause some wicked imbalance in this world causing chaos on all sides of the earth and producing mass confusion and hysteria in the minds of all human kind.

So fine. *Looks to the sky* I get it okay. Single is me. Single I am. Sheesh.

%*%$&*&^(**)&$#&%^%^!!!!!!

My Lazy post for the new year!

Look here :)

Ended.

Ok I had "the talk" with the nice guy.
Realized I had to end it.
If we slowed things down, he still would be jumping 4 pages ahead, despite the fact he knew where I stood.
I realized I cannot give him any hope - even if I thought there would be hope. He has so much already.
We said to check up on each other at the end of next month.
It was sad cause he knew that this may be the last time that we talk.
So he kept talking and I am exhuasted.
Good bye and well wishing is never a good thing to go through but it needed to be done.


And maybe, the "bad" guy/the other guy will somehow disappear too by this Friday. I dont feel he has it in him to stick around just because we are attracted to each other. The distance between us may be too much of an effort (2 hours haha).

Ha! I single- handedly possibly made my self single again? Maybe?
Maybe I just Luuuuuuuv this blog too much to find someone haha, ya thats it.
I was txting my sister in law today. I said - yep Im gonna tell him, and I know Im a bitch and I have no right to complain of being single....

yep Im messed up

Okay, its funny how Im in dire need of tonnes of advice but it just is trickling in. I feel like its a "oh um good luck with that" kinda thing and ppl just run away with their fingers in their ears. Or maybe ppl just are too nice to say it - that I'm an idiot or something, a bitch, a hypocrite? I duno - I can take it (I think). Or I guess no one wants to be responsible for my decisions haha.

Or maybe I know what the answer is and I just dont feel for it. Maybe I'm someone that, despite my life of always being so careful and doing the right thing - I gotta get some things/ and mistakes out of my system so I appreciate the right decision more and I will not ever be wondering of how it is do be alittle bad. At the risk of what? I duno. Maybe I do know but I just want to find out for sure.

I got this "monkey on my back" so to speak and its buggin me. Actually I have many. Im trying to sort it out. I could possibly be making the hugest (that even a word?) mistake. But with the battle of head and emotions - Ima just go with how I feel. Damn scorpio that I am! Yep - with the risk of losing a real good thing. And not gaining anything. And maybe losing more? But what is buggin me the most is the nice guy is most likely definately on page 5 and I'm just reading the prologue. That has to stop. Its not fair to him.

Ok Im going to go back to work and not think about it.
Maybe it will go away on its own and I am over thinking for nothing.
Maybe I will change my mind in an hour or two.....

Well they are only YOUR kids!

I had 2 patients in the last 2 weeks who are in their teens come in for a kinda gross procedure that involved local infection and some skin that needed to be cut off. Kinda similar to having a boil on your finger or your fingernail getting ripped off or something like that.
Both times (separate families) the kid's parents could not bear to watch.
They left the room.

So Im thinking, Okay, way to give them moral support !
Serious - if you cant deal with your kids getting sick or bruises and scrapes and infections - should you really be priviledged to have kids at all?

Suck it up ppl sheesh!




No. Im not bitter. Sorry, my eggs wrote this, not me.

Recurring theme....

I was on a home visit to a senior lady this morning.
She has alot going on in her life and she is sad all the time.
Her husband who has been sick in the hospital for many months passed away recently and she keeps telling me of the ongoing problems of her son, who is going through a divorce right now.
She asks me how my family is (my parents) and if I have a bf. I dont mind when she asks me this.
"naw naw I dont" I say
"Well it better that way, yes it better, dont get one, you are better off"
I kinda chuckle, "Oh really? Thats good to hear that I'm better off then"
"Im serious, it nothin but problems, it no good"
"oh no, Im sorry to hear that. I havent found a good guy yet" I say.
"If you find, you better not look for looks, that bad..." She motions her hand over her face ".... It better to look for this", she says as she points to her head.
I look at her for a second "brains?" (I'm not too sure what she means)
"Someone with a good head, looks they come and go, same with money, but if he have a good head and he good to you, that is the way to go"

Somehow this theme keeps repeating itself to me.

I was talking with a gf the other day and we discussed my choices/dilema. It was a good talk, I know what I need to do but dont know how to go about saying it (see post below).
Then the subject of my mom came up, about her having 2 proposals to choose from, and how practical she was in making her decision. Yada Yada - I think at this point I know I cannot compare, cause in many ways my mother and I are very different people. I think I have a battle between my highly emotional side and practical logical side. My mother is more practical. In so much I had to one day ask her "so when was it then that you became attracted to dad?" Her answer was simply "He was a good man, what more do you want?" Though, in discussing her situation, one thing my mother said about her decision stuck in my head even though she kinda said it in passing:

"I chose the man who would not hurt me"

if and how

If you know a person is "good" for you because he is "good to you" and you have so much in common and if you know it always takes a while for you to warm up to certain guys - do you hang on to them when you arent as attracted to them ? Yes - this is after 5 dates already......

And if the answer is yes.....
How do you tell them this, in such a way you dont want them to jump 2 pages ahead of you and suffocate you, being too serious and also maybe get the wrong impression of your intentions? What do you say?

What a mess!

Okay
I. am. confused.

Who would have thought that having choices was a bad thing?
Yes I know all of you that commented before told me so ... haha
I can hear it now in unison "WE told you so!"
Ok Ok now I get it. Thank you :)

Let me explain my self:
I thought that having choices was a good thing - you know - so you can compare - and get the best of the two.
But now I realize that guys are not like shopping for jeans. Narrowing it down to which checks off more points on your "list" of what you want in a pair of jeans is not the same as narrowing it down to whom ever checks off more points on the "perfect man" list. Why? - some points are more practical, and other points are more attractive - but different emotions run deep into these points as well.

Me = inexperienced dater. Yes I admit it. (Gasp!- I know you are not that shocked haha - So smack that big ol' "L" on my forehead and carry on reading!)

Until recently I have just been the one who - when put on dates - say - set ups or blind-ish/internet dates (as opposed to just naturally getting to know someone) I usually assess pretty quickly. Yay or nay. And most have been Nay - since Im extremely picky - No to bad teeth, No to no chemistry, No to someone who doesnt like me enough, No to ultra feminine men, No to guys who tell me before the date has begun "I have to leave early, I have somewhere to go", No to guys on a different wave length, No to pushy/stalkerish men, No to guys who dont get my jokes, No to guys just passing through town for a night or two, No to scruffy older biker men, No to men with son's closer to my age than I am to their age. Thats alot of NO's. And Im tired.

So maybe it is really: Me = inexperienced in giving guys a chance dater.

Now, in my senior years (or something close to it, it seems haha) I keep thinking "well I should try to give more ppl more of a chance".
Or maybe that was my eggies screaming at me again? Whatever.
Recently I come to realize that it can take me a long time to find my self attracted to really nice guys when I wasnt initally attracted to them. Mind you I was not grossed out by them either. Maybe they would be called average? Maybe I wouldnt even do a "double take" if they passed me on the street.(which is not a bad thing btw). This works well when you are around someone who you are not out to date - someone you know naturally. And I also know it is worth it when you do end up with them etc. But this concept is hard to apply to those you are initially going on a date with.

Here is where I try to explain my situation ---- cryptic mode.

Gone on some dates.
With a couple of guys.
More than once.
One guy is soooooo goood to me, I can tell he really likes me, it shows in his actions, he is established, similar background and similar family view, gentlemanly, treats me like the lady I am (psssh - stop laughing at that).
But with this guy - attraction would rate at - hummm 30%? When Im out with him its great he gets cuter - somewhat. When Im not out with him and we talk on the phone - Im bored, and slightly feel smothered and annoyed.

Other guy is well..... "meh" to me. I feel he is neither here nor there. If I turn him down he will be cool with it. If I tell him I like him he will be cool with that too. He's ok to me. Passive somewhat. BUT get this - He tells me he is attracted to me and thinks I'm really sweet and would like to date me more. Only thing he keeps talking about that we have in common is our work backgrounds. Unsure if he has the same family views as I do - he probably swings more liberal than myself. But when we go out he is fun and the date is really great and I'd like to do it again..... and dang he just keeps getting more good looking! Kinda makes me feel mushy. So attraction would be at - uh 90%.
Thing is, when we dont go out - there is practically nada convo/ chating/ emailing/ texting/ phoning. He asked if we could go out again. I said Im not feeling that he's that into me really. He re-iterated how he enjoyed going out with me, thinks I am very sweet and he is attracted to me and would like to go out again. Who knows - maybe being honest about what I thought was misinterpreted as sorta "fishing for compliments" sort of thing.

Ok - I realize that wasnt cryptic at all. It was pretty straight forward.
But none the less, Im left confused.
It looks like there may be an obvious answer there doesnt it? Maybe, maybe not. But its not an easy answer when I go out with them.
I am pulled by emotions and my head and all that messy stuff.
I dunno - maybe time will tell. But meanwhile I feel guilty of sorta seeing two guys at once. Though technically - they are just friends right now anynow right?

Do I need a note to explain my absence?

Maybe.
I dont feel up going into a long schpeal about it though.
Writers block -yes. Tired of re-hashing the same complaints on this topic - yes. A slight paranoia of judgement about my poor grammar - yes.

But as of late I am feeling the need for an outlet again. Lately I have been spewing my thoughts on my email's notepad.

I may just be lazy enough to do a few cut and pastes:


August 28/06 8am

how can one meet others when you feel your heart is someone else?
Thats my question.
For example, if someone loses a loved one who they truely believe was their soul mate, how can they be open to finding someone else?
And will that someone else just be a "filler"?
Thats pretty sad I think because it is not fair to the one who is the "filler".
They are likely getting half-assed love from the one they are with.

Well, I think I may be on the cusp of just random dating - with no feeling at all. I definately feel that my heart is not up for it but I think it is something I need to do. Yes... These fellows dont stand much of a chance I would say. Maybe that is how I will come off to them then? Being Half-assed interested in the date? Not good. Sometimes I can have a fun time on dates and yet know deep down it wont work.

About a boy and an email....

Gah I dont know why this always bothers me.
It happens all the time so I should expect it.
And NO, Im not that into this guy.
There is a certain boy.... man.... lets call him Beefy man or Beefy boy.
Cause he is beefy. Not fat. Muscular.
But anyways - where was I?
Oh yes, and then there is email.

Do you ever have one of those fairweather friends who only keeps in touch every once in a blue moon?
And by "keeping in touch" I mean - you are the one that somehow contacts them first - always. Then they say their little thing of catching up and then they disappear again for a while?

Well I have this friend. "Friend" or F- Friend (not that F friend you gutter minded fellows!) - Fairweather friend.
I send forwards of emails to a bunch of ppl - then he says hello whats up, then I answer and then it takes another how many years for the next email back.

This happens everytime and it bothers me. Why? Cause I still get alittle surprised when he emails back. (It was only a foward I sent - sheesh) And then I answer back along with some of my own questions. I get alittle excited to catch up again. And then I - like the loser I am, check my email every now and then - to see if he responded.

Its like watching paint dry.

Frig!

Whatever - beefy boy!

To Choose or not to Choose?

I wonder if having choices makes things more confusing???!
I was asking my gf this "hypothetical question" - you know - like shopping for a pair of jeans or something...
Finally she said "Um men are not like a pair of jeans you know"

"Sometimes you think you know what it is you want......
Then someone comes along and shows you what you need"
- Author Unknown

New FAv song....

It looks like the video is not working for this page so here is a link to view the video and listen......

Singles Online Crap!

Ok so update on that ol' Eharmony thingy I joined a while back.

Its a crock of crap!
Yesserie.
I ended that around March sometime.
My friend who origionally joined it went out with someone from there who seemed nice but it didnt work out. My other friend kept getting matches that were totally off from what she entered in (ie. divorced or guys with kids) and she even got matched with a profile that was a bunch of jibberish!! yes : "ajdef fakhfoaf k ahfkdfalhfonlfj" = jibberish! I thought they screen those things?! I mean, Eharmony's extensive accurate process is so tedious that you are even lucky if you get matched with anyone, then when you do get matched it feels that Eharmony is soo off the mark! Thing is, you cant even browse profiles and choose for yourself - you have to sit there and wait as they trickle in. Funny thing is - when I origionally made a profile, I immediately recieved quite a few matches - every day. So after looking at those I decided to fork up the dough and join. Then the matches got less and less. And amoung the matches the Canucks seemed -very few and well, kinda wierd. (ie. What would you like to accomplish in your lifetime? His answer: Enlightenment.... okaaay.)
And so I ended up talking to a few American guys. I talked to this really nice cute guy - even though he lived in Pennsylvania.... (btw, for some strange reason I am thinking there seems to be alot of cute guys from Pennsylvania).
The thing about him was that we talked for a while giving each other really long emails and even pictures of our travels, and not once did he ask to see my picture (I did not have a picture on my profile). So since he didnt ask I decided to show him a couple.... all was going well but alas there is only so much more you can say without actually meeting and that kinda fizzled away - Yawn.
So that is the end of that. I had enough of it. After I ended my membership I had absolutely no matches at all! When you end it they really boot you out, thanks Eharmony! Sheesh.

Now, after all that I feel I got suckerd into it again. Ya I'm usually above being burned twice but tonight is ouchy #2! AAAH I blame my boredom.
A friend of mine joined Americansingles.com. With this site you see your matches and can also browse around. He showed me a few of his matches and after a while I decided to make a profile. No pic. I know looks dont matter, and yet they do, but I prefer not to post it intially. And being the weird me that I am, I kind of judge guys that ask you about how you look right off the bat. I mean, asking for a pic right away when it already describes me anyways on my profile.... Just seems alittle - superficial?! Maybe I'm picky about it. Mind you, I dont mind showing my pic at all on the singles site - I mean its only fair right? But I just dont want it to be the first thing guys care about.....I like some depth.

I was slightly impressed with the amount of matches on American singles and it didnt make the Canuck guys seem so bad hehe. Then there was this one guy who caught my eye.....after reading his profile I was intrigued!
Even my sister in law, who I showed his profile to, asked "So are you gonna post a pic? ...... or are you just going to meet him and..... BHAM!....." She said in her best Emeril voice ".......you just gonna wow him with you in person?". hehe. "Ya that is what I was hoping to do ;) !! " I said jokingly. "Naw, I figured I would like to see if he likes my personality or at least we get along abit first."
I decided (as a non-member at the time) to 'click yes' on his profile so he would know I was interested. Next day he 'clicked yes' to mine ! And he even emailed me too! .... but being a non-member I couldnt read his email..........see where I am going with this ?

His email sat there for over a week - calling me...... read me ..... read me..... I'm cute ..... and love watching the Food Channel too! READ ME ......... hummm should I join should I not? He seems pretty nice! Yes , No, Not again, Maybe......

Ya, anyways, tonight I joined and finally read his email!

Guess what he said?!

Guess what he said on his first email to me to introduce himself!



Go on......



Guess!





"Hey there, thanks for checking out my profile... care to share a pic? :P"

WTF?

I paid 60$ for that?!

...........

Update: while I was posting this I was logged on to american singles in the background. I just got an IM from some other guy on there.

Dan: hi there
me: hi how are you?
Dan: fine thank's you
Me: ok thanks. I had this on in the background and didnt realize it was on until I heard your IM
Dan: o sorry you busy
Me: ya you should be shhhhh .... :)just kiddin!
Dan: i found your profile interesting and was wondering if you have picture's
(obiously he doesnt have much humor? Straight for the pic question)
Me: hummm i guess they didnt post it yet
Me: I put one up tonight but its not showing then
( I really did post one up tonight)
Dan: ok
Dan: if i gave you my email address could you send some to me
(overly anxious huh?)
Me: maybe
Me: do you have yahoo?
Dan: no
Me: well ....my pic will be up soon anyhow or do you really want me to email you it?
Dan: yes -------@hotmail.com
Me: whats the rush ?
Dan: just want to see who i am talking too
Me: okay. so you dont want to talk until you see my pic ?
(By now Im thinking that he thinks Im hiding and I am fugly or something)
Dan: well you are seeing mine right
Me: i'll close my eyes and type ....
(After a long long pause we wrote at the same time...)
Dan: ok
Me: ok that was a joke. hello?
- I saw him writing abit but then he just logged off after that.

Wuss!

Oh man. Great - now I'm stuck with this site for 3 months!

If I ever sign up again someone PLEASE SHOOT ME!
wait - didnt I say this before?.....

:)

A 89 yr old female patient was leaving my clinic and and heading towards the waiting room / reception area to make her next appointment.

I said my good-byes and as I was moving the door stop to leave the door open, I could hear her say as she turned the corner:

"Hey there Good Lookin"

To her husband who was waiting patiently in the waiting room for her.

Gutter Imagination and hormone fluxes - bad bad bad....

Yes......... it must be just ME lately.
Its not what I say - its what I think about what was said.
Maybe once our minds start thinking a certain way there is no stopping it....

Today:
Me: Oh so you are heading up to the cottage tonight for a week, that should be fun!
Patient: Yes Im looking forward to it. I hope it is not too hot there though we had alot of rain lately
Me: There are no more mosquitos out up there right?
Patient: Oh no I dont think that they are out anymore... Oh yes those are the big pricks!

(huh? I had to actually think about what she said for a minute, then I realized : Oh she meant 'the mosquitos bite pretty bad')

Wedding stuff....

Okay - there is another Wedding to attend this year.. It should be fun and I am kinda looking forward to it! It's an old friend from HS and I am really happy for her. I met the guy once and he seems like a great guy! Funny too!

Thing is - me being the ulta uber sensitive singleton that I usually am, I noticed something. Yes of course it was only addressed to 'Me', not 'Me + guest'. Ok ok I get it already! Sheesh Whatever. I should be used to it. But I noticed on the RSVP instead of looking like this (for me to fill in) it said this (already filled in). Ouch! Weird huh. Or am I just over sensitive again?

Ok nuff said about that .....

Recently I have been noticing weird stuff at some Weddings (what wedding doesnt have weird happenings?) I come to believe that there is no perfect wedding. Someone always has a complaint.....

• At one very casual wedding the DJ was an ...... iPod!
• I have never ever seen a bride that looked like she just woke up outa bed and plonked a viel on her head and did nothing to look different than her everyday appearance, thick glasses and plain hair hardly any make up .... until now.
• One wedding at a wonderful country club didnt have enough seating placements for all their guests for the reception - on purpose. Once you finished your food you were expected to give up your seat for someone else to have their dinner!
• One wedding served up a mean meal of .... geriatric food? I swear the meal was over cooked! You could practically mush up the green beans and the pasta in your mouth with just your tounge! It was also served as 'buffet' which was likend to the hasty mean servers you would get screaming at you from behind the counter in a prison cafeteria!
• The hired MC was a 'show host' so annoying he could have been in an empty room yet he still would not shut up! He loved to hear his own voice - even guiding everyone through the "chicken dance" and the "shimmy dance"
• A wedding of about 100 people and the wedding cake was a small cheese cake from the local grocery store.
• The MC was quizing the groom questions about his Bride as a game and one of the questions was " What is her bra size?" - so not wedding material - more like stag material

Ah but in the end of every wedding we wish the happy couple many years of happiness to come........

Stupid things I have said.........

at work.....



At work I have to sometimes test diabetics for general sensory neuropathy. I use a Tuning fork to test vibrational sensations. However, at one time the name of the instrument totally was lost from my memory and I drew a blank while explaining to the patient what I was about to do.
I dont like to pause much and say "uh this thingamajig" so I said whatever came to my mind to describe the tuning fork at the time. I pulled the tuning fork out of the side drawer and said:
"And this is a uh ....... a vibrator...." I paused for a second realizing what I said then ignored it and hoped that the patient would not notice and I explained quickly after "it tests the vibration sensation on the surface of your skin, like on your hands or feet"





Also at work I treat patients while sitting in a chair, which is not good for our back after a while so we were told we should stand sometimes while treating patients.

So today a Patient comes in who is like ~ 6'5 ft? Who knows ?! And the situation holds that I cannot treat him while sitting, so I stand. He asks me about it and I mention how I need to stand because he is tall and also because it is good for my back anyways... then I say :
"I should do people standing up more often"

Seriously, maybe my singledom is getting to me, forcing my mind in the gutter, where I think the simplest things I say can be so perverse.

Update

Happy belated CANADA day !

Wedding went ... ok, Trip was overall pretty good! And boy was it hot... 112 °F which, I believe equals 44 °C!!!!!!!!!

Anyways.... points to note about this Wedding:

• was forced to "catch the bouquet" along with some other of my reluctant cousins... stood in the back joking that if it fell right infront of us I would probably kick it away.... (yes yes I am beyond hope) ... meanwhile the maid of honour had her shoes off and was in the front, horse stance and all, elbowing those beside her. (she did not catch it btw)... maybe I am just not agressive enough?
• you can still be forced up to catch the bouquet even if you are over 50 yrs old as long as you are single, and by then, all the other younger gals feel sorry for you and make you stand at the front.... gulp, not looking forward to that!
• "Strength in numbers?" - nope, not in the singles game....men are intimidated by big groups of women during weddings (or maybe even clubs too I guess) - maximum 4 gals in a group, not.....9!
• fat guys who dance great and have fun (ie. Carlton dance from Fresh Prince) can be very attractive
• good looking guys who dance amazing but have a skank as a gf are just equally as skanky as their half naked gf grinding up to them. ew.
• do not hire a MC for your wedding, they end up wanting to run the whole show
• marvelous banquet halls can still suck - bottom line - its the food that counts! (again - food has nothing to do with this blog but good food is very important to me hehe)
• and last but not least, laughing while saying your wedding vows - well, just doesnt look too good at all...

Actually I did not spend much time in Cali, so here are some other pretty pics:

2 Busy...

Ah since this is a singles blog I might as well mention that I happened to catch the tail end of this - yet again another reality show - of single women and their adventures - There were a few tips and advice tid bits in the show - when I catch it again maybe I will pay more attention hehe - 2 busy now .....
Here is a review from a fellow blogger..