Hyper

Okay, my co-worker called me early this morning to say he was sick.
That means - maybe I may get some of his straggler patients wandering in and I may have to see them if need be and if I have the time.
So from 7:30 am I've been on adrenaline.

Been licking my wounds this week - can you believe I actually felt hurt by that "Bad" guy?! Gah! Yeah I can kick myself. I preech about not falling prey to "just LOOKS - no substance there" and the fact I KNEW it going into it that he wasnt too into me - I just wanted to have alittle fun. I mean, I knew he wasnt "future" material. So I wasnt puttin my eggs in his basket. But I guess its a pride thing. Maybe even a "just for the chase" thing. Nothing of any substance. So I got "I think you are gorgeous, I want to go out with you again" to "I think I will be busy for the next couple of weeks" (ie. rest of my life) from one day to the next with not much contact inbetween - Yeah he's probably gettin' some from some skank from the ski trip. I think I could have accepted that answer more better than the former. Honesty is my policy.
Guys - Please - have the balls enough to SAY WHAT YOU FEEL AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
Nuff said.

So yes been dealing with the round about "why?" questions in my head - cause that is what I do - over think things. But as a friend said "ya just gotta let it go" - and another friend said "he doesnt deserve to have you even think of him this much". I agree - expending too much wasted energy at the moment.

One thing I can say: Its good to have friends to talk things out with - from sister in laws to anyone that will listen - no matter how idiotic I sound and ones that can take you out in the middle of the week for 2 Long Islands and an Apple Martini. (Ty R!) Slowly Im gettin my Mojo back and I actually feel so hyper I want to go on some mad dating rampage spree at the moment. Its good to re-affirm why it is that I preech what I do and actually learn it myself even if it means getting alittle injured in the process. Being Emo is all good, makes me know Im alive. And it definately makes me more sypathetic to the guys I turn down. "Worst thing you can do is Lead a person on"

Thing with being injured in the game of flirtations and the sexes is that I tend to "generalize" statements after. Which is not a good thing. Which also leads me to have "issues" (yeah well tell me someone who doesnt have issues?). I guess I should take it as: that is how that type of person is - dont take it personally cause we dont all have to match each other, listen to my gut feeling, dont be swayed by the sexy eye candy before me, or swayed by my raging hormones and his empty compliments.

BUT so I really shouldnt generalize and say that I will never believe a "salesman/sales rep" nor a guy that hides behind his "passion of cycling" when in reality, he just simply enjoys shaving his legs and wearing spandex and riding so close to other men that do the same. Ya. I wont think that. Really I wont. But it makes me feel better at the moment so I will.