Double Dipping
Since I was on the subject of Married men in my last post.....
I'm going to fish out a post from my drafts :
.......................
(Feb 6/07):
I was contemplating joining the gym in my area instead of paying a chunk load just for the squash league. I had a few visits to the front desk with a few different people. There is this one man in particular that sticks in my head. I dont want to seem fulla myself or have such an inflated head - but a gal kinda knows when a simple look is beyond a simple look. There is the smile to it - but "interested smile" and somewhat of a smirk, that they cannot get rid of no matter how much they try to be serious when explaining the details of the membership costs to you. And there is also the fact that I only met him once to sign in my name in passing and quite a few weeks later and no other encounters, he knows my name without me having to give my card. With all the traffic that gym sees, maybe he just has an amazing memory. He too has a gold ring on his wedding ring finger.
Those with a blog and those attached to their pc's know how addicting chatting by IM can be. I met a person once in IM (not in person). It was back in '04 when I was addicted. (hehe - admitting your addiction is half the battle - I digress) He stood out for a number of reasons, some of which are his intellect, his genuine interest in me as a person, his thoughtfulness, his personality, his attentiveness, his humor, the things we had in common and that he was a good listener. He was married. I found this out early on, but only after his personality had already intrigued me. I continued talking to him abit - more so about his family and his wife. He seemed to be troubled - despite how highly successful he was. I was trying to get him to realize why he fell in love with his wife in the first place. Maybe I was just too optimistic and blindly believed that I could actually patch up the rough spots in his marriage. He told me of a "friend" he was getting to know in his city that he was contemplating having an affair with. I told him how that hurt to hear that, how disheartened I was and discouraged - especially with the stupid ideals I had about wanting to be married myself and finding "the one" and how he supposedly had that already and was about to throw that all away! Something a single - somewhat hopeful person would not understand I guess. I didnt understand how someone could not talk to his own wife about his problems. How someone that is supposed to be your best friend as well as lover would not try to understand when you confide in them.
Despite our interesting talks - we lost touch. And that is a good thing. I would like to assume it was because he realized that talking to his own wife about his issues was what he needed to do, instead of telling me all this. I would like to think that that happened and that he is finally happy.
I remember back in the day, when I had a crush on Beef boy. A few months after I got over it he started talking about his gf. (who knew?) But he was talking crap about her. Oh lovely. I would say hello to her as she came into the school and ring up his office to let him know she was in and I would hear discouraged groans on the other end. He would tell me and all the rest of the staff how "crazy" she was and all the psycho things she did that made him miserable. Of course he said this to us to again support for team-beef-boy. But it didnt sway me. It only confirmed my decision that getting over him was the best thing I could have done.
I look around and wonder why it is that many married/ attached men (or married/attached women) are the ones that seem more active in finding someone else? Or connecting with someone else? A friend said today - why couldnt that attention come from a single guy instead of a married one?
I asked - is marriage that boring?! If so, why are many of us single people striving to find that or find our "life partner". The grass is always greener I suppose. It almost (I stress the word - almost) seems as though many of those attached-eye-wanderers are the ones looking to play around or have their cake and eat it too - than the singletons. I could be wrong in many ways of course. Its like they want to tap into "fresh meat" (singletons) while they have their own meat at home to have. Greedy? Maybe its partly that too.
But really I call them: Double dippers.
They have their chip, use the dip, and then turn around and use that same chip to help themselves to more dip! When others are standing there, chip in hand, ready for dip - but it ends up being spoiled and F-ed up cause someone F-ed it over. Ya know what you are left with dont ya? Thats alot of spoiled dip and alot of hungry party goers who end up drinkin themselves silly and having to nibble on the dry chips or even plain veggies, wondering where all the good dip has gone.
Or maybe it can be simply that they made a mistake. They are second guessing their decision. I can understand that........ when it comes to buying shoes or a top that doesnt look right with the rest of my wardrobe.
But to them I say:
Tough Lucky Buddy! Made your bed now lay in it!
Sheesh!
People cannot be compared to shopping (as I questioned before)
Once you made your decision, take the responsibility and respect that and the person you chose.
Hah! Maybe I am too naive and too harsh. Heaven forbid this happen to me. But still from what I have seen lately - its not right.
If you want to "change your mind" or you are not happy, do everyone a favor and let go of the one you are with, so both of you can move on. This can hold true not only for the marrieds but also for the takens (ppl in relationships). No overlapping ppl, no double dipping. It spoils the dip for everyone else.
Labels: beef boy, double dipping, married men
posted by ~Moi~ @ 9:39 AM
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