Did I just save myself from looking like a fool?

Or am I a fool?

Probably the later. I hope the former. Cause things happen for a reason .... right?Right!?
Gah! I am so frustrated with myself! (yet again)

So tonight was my last class of Wing Chun.
I decided about a week ago that - despite my interest in this form of martial arts - I am not signing up for the next class. Not this spring anyways.
Why ? Mostly due to the instructors (- seriously, is Halitosis contagious? or another form of self defence? gez) And partly due to the fact my only good free rest night is Wednesday night - which staff parties and Rib night are usually reserved for (now watch - the rest of my Wednesday nights will remain free).
Well I found the instructors to favor a particular girl in the class and it wasnt me. Thats fine - despite my jealous tendencies. But the last 2 classes I found them to be quite condescending to ME. Things like "oh well you cannot master this move so its best you just dont use it at all" (I only practiced it for 5 min) Or, waving his hand in front of my face, pointing me out and saying "helllooo hellooo do you understand what I just said?" Or maybe I am just being too sensitive. Whatever the case is - I may need to take a break and he needs to take a breath mint - or at least brush his teeth before class! Blegh!

But my frustration comes with me not saying something where - maybe - just maybe - something could / should have been said. No, not with my instructors. But this guy in my class. Actually, I believe I labelled him as "the married guy" in my last post about this class.
Ya married. And NO. - I dont go for taken men.
Thing is he has been wearing this gold ring on his wedding ring finger so I figured he was married. End of story right? I saw it a few times then never checked again after that.
Average guy. Average looking. Actually very nice, easy going, kind smile, welcoming, friendly, good humoured. (ya - I hear the "uh ohs")
Oh ya and did I mention thoughtful? He actually burned a CD for me that the instructor lent out to the students in the 2nd and 3rd classes but I missed those classes. He didnt even know if I was coming back to the class or had dropped out. Nice huh?
Oh yeah back to the ring thing. So he seemed like this average guy, who I figured was married so I didnt think much of him. Until he started to remind me of this guy I know. This guy I know who I am attracted to alot and think very highly of.
Gah! This link. Stupid link. All it takes is that simple link and then he starts to look more attractive to me.
So I force my mind to leave it at that. But I kept hearing this voice saying - shucks - why do the nice guys have to be taken?! Why couldnt this guy be unattached? Why? Maybe the ring was nothing - you know - like some weird looking school ring or something. Or maybe he is of a nationality where the "wedding ring finger" is on the right hand instead of left? He never even mentioned his other half - like the others did, even about Valentines day - he said he was working late that night. Maybe he doesnt know any better about what ring to wear on what finger? Maybe? Please? A tiny chance of? Nah, didnt think so.

Soooooz tonight I notice that he wasnt wearing his ring. Nada.
How long has this been happening?
Hummm? Ok stop thinking 'hummm'! No No he is married. Married. Maybe he just took it off since we have to wear hand wraps and that would be uncomfortable when punching? But we arent punching today - just going over the Kata/ forms...? I was confused.
Maybe I was confused because I was hoping he wasnt married.

So I was talking to him at the beginning of the class and he asked if I was going to join the next class.
"No it doesnt really go with my schedule - I have missed alot of classes already. How about you?"
Yeah he is joining the next class and we continue on with the small talk about other schools that teach Wing Chun - blah blah blah. Then the instructors come in to begin class and mess up my convo with him.

Class was uneventful. It ended and the next one starts next week. I said my goodbyes and left the class after he did. He was walking in front of me and was already at his car when I got out of the building. The end.
Then as I got into my car I had the realization of the whole finality of it all. So I had this opportunity to meet this nice person and that is that. Finito. Did I use that opportunity well? Was there supposed to be more? I got overwhelmed with a feeling of loss. Loss that I could have - AT LEAST - said something to clear up my confusion. I had nothing to lose right?

Driving home I thought that I could have at least said "So is your wife joining you in the next class?"

Wow talk about delayed reaction. I always think of what to say only after the fact.

Am I a fool for not saying something? Or did I save myself from making a fool of myself?
Do I kick myself for another opportunity lost?

Well, its over with. So I'm just going to try to push this frustration aside and go with my first assumption. He is married. And he is a nice guy. And its really good the class is over. Especially since he is married..... right?!

Sometimes a smile is all you get

Yesterday I was wandering through Terminal F of the Philadelphia International
Airport trying to kill my 3 hour wait time for my transfer flight back to T.O.
As I was wandering I was noticing that there were quite a few good looking fellows walking around that airport as well. Who knows - must be my fixation with PA or the fact I was coming from Orlando Airport - full of families and children.
As I was walking down one section - I noticed a very handsome Yum of a man walking toward me going the opposite way.
Lets listen to what I was saying in my head shall we?
Ok Ok dont stare or glare, look away, now casually glance back, .... whoa niiiiiice, 1 second only, Ok look away again, hey wait a minute - was he looking at me too or just glancing my way by accident? Naw couldnt be. He is in a nice suit, I am in my jeans and hoodie. Ok descretely check him out again - one second glance, then look away again - hey he is looking back at me. Humm. I'd say late 20s or early 30s. Niiiice. Ok he passed. Im not going to turn and look past my peripheral vision. (This all took a matter of seconds btw)

Wow that was one piece of eye candy. Black suit, (or was it dark navy?) and blue button down, crisp collar shirt, tall, short hair and brown eyes. No ring. And he doesnt look like he swings the other way. Good stuff all around. It was Sunday - was he coming back from Church? Or leaving a business or professional conference? Or probably someone's Saturday night male escort?

Anyhow that moment came and went and I forgot about it. I looked at the time - I knew my flight was at 1pm. I walked back in the direction I came and checked my boarding pass. Boarding time 12:25?! what the?! - Just then when I had the 'What the?!' face on, it changed to a 'oh hey now' kinda face - cause it was Brown eyes again! He comes right out of the washroom directly in front of me - wowza. He was just a few metres in front of me - looking directly at me. He continued walking to pass me and was looking at me still. And me - looking at him. Was he looking at me or looking at me look at him or vice versa? hahaha. Seriously - it seemed all slow- mo from there. At that point it would be rude to just look away (ha - us Torontonians are used to being that way), so I gave him a nice smile (Unusual for this here T.O gal) He gave me a warm smile back. We continued to look at each other smiling for a total of - 2 seconds more then we continued on to what we were doing.

I make my way to my gate and have a seat. Brown eyes man is no where to be seen. Oh well - I thought - thats how it goes in airports people coming and going. I check the time and ponder if I should whip out my bagel and cream cheese and start munching away like the hungry pig that I am. Just then who comes walking toward the gate? Brown eyes. Gah! He is going to T.O too!
Thing is, this time he sees me and does what all us in T.O do - the usual. Takes a glance, then looks forward and walks to his seat, as if we didnt smile at each other a few minutes ago. Here, it seems the familiar are quick to be strangers again when out of context - if there is any context to be made.

My seat was no where near his on the plane. Then a buncha other ppl from some cancelled flight came in to fill up every seat so we were set in our places.

The end.

Anti-climactic yes? yes.

You see, in the movies (or in my head) I would luck out and would have been booked to sit right beside him. And he wouldnt of had that T.O 2nd reaction. I would have commented on the book he was reading and he would have commented on the book I was reading. Then at the end of that hour flight we would have enjoyed each others company so much and exchanged numbers.
Then I would say, 'the end'. (with a 'happily ever after' of course - since I was coming from Orlando)

But nooooooo, the story goes: they smile at each other, the end.
Nothing else but a smile. The end.
And that is all you are given. Even though we lucked out enough to be in the same city at the moment, on the same flight and going to the same city, but still -
The end.

Yes long story for such and anti-climactic ending.

So Mr. Brown eyes on flight 4010 US Airways, gate F26 thanks for the smile even though that is all we were given....