Time for a change

"Where are all the good single men? No, not the moma's boy with a jellyfish back bone, not the "I'm really in the closet and afraid to come out" guy, not the commitment Phobic who really wants to leave his options open, and not the "I need a woman to support me" kind of guy either. Simple question but there is no answer......"


So this is what has been the intro to this singles blog since the beginning of time.... Can you believe I only had only a handful of guys attempt to answer this question via email? Some who wanted to be my friend, some who wanted to learn the English language from me (haha - stop laughing - grammar is so not my fortay) but a couple of answers that stuck - things we kinda already know but it is just confirmed when actually written to me....

1)Hi there, came across your blog, read your description, and just wanted to quickly give you a simple answer. They're shy. Many (not all) of the good single men are just very shy. Not spineless, just shy, so you never really get to met them. Doesn't help you much I realize, but just thought I'd let you know. - Tim

2)I think it's geographically messed up so moving to a better area will give you better results. -Benjamin

Well lets start with #2. Sometimes it is true. He lives in Silicone Valley and there are apparently more men than women there. So his selection of women are filled with the "snotty type" since these gals have their pickins. He found his gal in another city. I agree with this in the sense that it has to do with the ratio imbalance I alluded to along time ago. ie: More men than women = women have their pick, so most likely they dont always treat the men so nice. More women than men = the men have their pick so the crop of men available arent always behaving at their best - they dont need to. (These are big/ though valid generalizations - so dont harp on me - not all people are like this)
A glance over stats Canada said that there are more men than women in ------- city and -----city. So I think if times become desperate Ima fly my ass up there :) Oh and by the way, you didnt think I would actually name off those cities did you?! In a ratio imbalanced world - Its every single gal for her self! haha.

Okies on to #1 - cause this is my biggest beef. Fine Tim, they are shy. I get it. And I have seen it. And NO - this absolutely doesnt help me. Me - being shy myself. Yay. So we sit in our silences waiting till we grow grey hairs before someone makes the first move, and by then it would probably mean someone finally saying "Hey, can you pass the Polident" .

Gah! To those shy but NICE guys - I may even have seen a glimpse of you - a'la loch ness monster- in the corner of the bar for a split second - I say to them - GET UP OFF YOUR ASSES AND COME OVER ! Be the MAN dude. Be the Man! That is why some shy nice guys end up with women that whop their asses. Dont cry to me when your Norbit's Gal comes beating you up for looking my way. Ya should have done something when you had the chance buddy, you should have. How does it help us nice people to procreate nice kids and spread all our niceness when you sit at home or in the corner of the bar and joke with your guy friends and do not leave your comfortable shell? Some nice guys complain about how gals are mean and turn guys down all the time and thus they dont want to expose themselves to such harsh behavior. Well, have you thought that the reason our defences are always up is because we are sick and tired fending off the obnoxious greaseballs you have left us with?! Of course 'nice guys will finish last' if ya just sit there and not speak up for yourself!

Here is my agreement. I will give you the eye contact when I see you - dont you turn your head away from me - this is a feat in itself for me. Then I will also give you a smile. And when I smile at you - dont sit there confused and content with just that. I will spell it out for you : that is sign-launguage for the go-ahead. Now with all that - which is an effort in itself for a shy gal like me, I would want you to make the first move. Say hello, start up a normal conversation, no lines, just be you meeting me. Yes you! You First. Not me first. You! Call me old fashioned. But for some strange reason, I believe that if I were to make the first move, then I would have to do the first everything. And by first everything - I mean : I would have to decide if we should go on a date, then I would have to ask for your number, then I would have to decide when, and then I alone would have to decide where to go, then I would have to pick you up, then I would have to drive you home, then I would have to initiate the first kiss, then I would have to change your friggin diapers - sheesh ..... and so on and so on. Then that would mean that I would be wearing the pants in this relationship and this would mean I would have bigger balls than you. I would be more manly than you. And frankly, I dont want a girly man. Not only does it make us the man, it also can make us the "aggressor, the stalkerish psycho gal, or the desperate easy gal". What ever happened to the Gentlemen? To Chivalry?

So to rehash - I will give you the signal, you speak up first, then I will reciprocate back - and I will be friendly, though shy, and maybe reserved at first (because I will be figuring out if you are the greaseball or the shy nice guy). But your kind, honest personality will shine though, and same with your hidden cuteness - and it will be a wonderful balanced relationship - where we share in our equal awesome wonderfulness and where you wear your pants and be the man and I wear my sexy jeans and feel like a gal. We wear them only until neccessary of course. ahem.

So seriously, to the Nice 'manly' single guys that I am looking for: take off that girly dress, stop staying at home watching 24, or the game or hibernating at a sports bar or playing hockey and going straight home, or waiting around to hang out with your married friends or getting lost in the green at a deserted golf course get up off your ass and LOOK FOR ME! For crying out loud I am trying to get out there and look for you - dont make me do all the work. Re-claim your manhood.

I think I will need to change my intro. Since it is quite out dated for how I feel..... gotta think of something soon......

Happy Valentines

Despite the singledom looming over me on this dreaded excluding-singles day.....

I was driving in the snow storm this morning (gah was an hour late for work!) and had to take a pic(sorry I have a bad cell cam) of this unsuspecting person....

He was walking through the blowing snow, along a busy stretch of road, during early morning traffic, holding his large, brightly wrapped, bouquet of roses for his valentine - for all to see. How sweet is that?! In a world where most guys are shunned for being outwardly romantic, being called whipped and cheesy, or unmanly and all the like. Brave of him. You go guy! You go!

....ok the day has only begun. And I am in a good mood. And I am wearing red.

Ask me at the end of the day and I will probably be sick of seeing things like this .........

Metrosexuals

girly men
men not out of the closet yet
some mama's boys
passive men

Ok so the above somewhat fall into the same category.

Metrosexual
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Metrosexual is a term coined in 1994 (along with the noun, metrosexuality) by British journalist Mark Simpson, who used it to refer to an urban male of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. He is the fashion-conscious target audience of men's magazines:
Outside Britain, in its soundbite diffusion through the popular media, metrosexual has congealed into something more digestible: a heterosexual male who is in touch with his feminine side - he color coordinates, cares deeply about exfoliation, and has perhaps manscaped.
Check out more info

So apparently, this was a fad I think. It was very popular not so many months ago.
Thing is .... some women are actually attracted to these men!
I mean, I see them alot downtown in the business district. Very stylish, some may even call them HOT or a good dresser. Well kept, very GQ.
DO these women actually think these men would want them?
To me it is a fancy term of calling a man who thinks or wants to be hetrosexual but in reality he is flaming gay inside!
Now, dont get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with Gay men. They are even sometimes better than girlfriends to a gal. BUT its when they are gay inside and pretend to be not gay outside. That is not fair to the naieve gals who fall for them. Imagine that.... your metrosexual bf cheats on you with....... your brother or at least hits on your brother or someting! gez! Talk about getting therapy to recoup fromt the breakup of your metro man!

Seriously guys, if your Gay, just say it! Dont mask it! Be proud! Then go after some other man of your interests and leave us single women alone!
Since this is a "trend" so to speak there are alot of men out there "embracing their feminine side" and actually saying and doing Metrosexual things and are proud of it being "metrosexual".

I sound bitter you say??

Well yes. I have a freind who is "metrosexual". He is a freind who was set up on a date with me. A blind date. I could tell there was something off just by the sound of and Pro-noun-ciation in his voice on the phone. Ok maybe its just in my head, I said driving off to meet him at a cafe. Then I met him....Yikes! When I saw him he was pretty metro. Hair slightly long and slicked back. ....what manly manly sport man greases back his hair? No not gel and all, it was slicked back. ugh! (Oh and seriously, who wants a man that uses more hair products than yourself anyway?) We got along fabulously! So much in common. He was at a good phase in his life, well established and a professional. Kind. Cheerful and happy, not a negative bone in his body and funny too. But somehow while laughing and joking and talking with him I soooo could not see myself with him.... even if I tried. It would almost be like being with a gal! He tried to show interest in that way to me but I just was not feeling it, and I know he wasnt too. Maybe he was forcing it. But I would never tell him that I think he is in the closet and to stop torturing himself. I think that would hurt him more. And he is too much of a kind guy.

Men, or manly men, men that are the men that we, or at least I want to be with.... Are not metrosexuals. This does not mean I want a man that smells and is a slob and is lazy and doesnt care about his looks or maintenace at all, but someone who is not, well,.... a stylish girly man.
Just so long as he cleans himself and smells like soap or downey fabric softener. Is neat and relaxed in clothes and is comfortable in himself. Yes neat and clean and relaxed....... and of course, strong and protective and not vain, a gentleman, someone who treats you as the princess.....not wanting to be the princess himself!

I could go on about the metrosexuals or that whole metrosexual revolution but Im just going to leave this post here.