A Fellow Canuck

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Click site and find "Save the last dance for me" (top right)


I cant seem to find a code for this song so I just have to put a link here.

Please say it isnt so!

In todays Metro (another T.O newspaper) I stumbled across an article that confirmed what my gfs and I had long been suspecting.
It is confirmed! :(
The higher the IQ or profession of a woman, the less likely she is to find a...what? - date, mate, what-have-you.

(I swear! I should have stopped in elementary school!)

got this from here

It uses the example shown on one episode of Sex And The City. This is when Mirianda, the show's lawyer, has more luck finding a date when she hides this fact and tells men she is a stewardess. They go on to explain that men with higher IQs had a higher chance of marrying while women are the opposite. They explained that men tend to marry women in subordinate jobs because they are afraid that the women in higher jobs will cheat on them! One sucessful woman (who makes $350,000/yr - whew! arent I glad I dont even make close to that!:P) said that "men being intimidated by successful women is an epidemic in T.O".

:(

I hear it now "Oh thanks for depessing me"
Well its not me that is saying this, they even have back up... ya research! Supported by some university findings in Aberdeen, Bristol, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Michigan, New York, and even here in T.O!

Something to do with the 'esteem' of men, and the idea of the men being 'protectors'.

My take on it? Other than the fact its damn shitty......
Well I see it, however there is a catch.
Ever since women's lib, women have been becoming more sucessful and shall I say, less dependant on men? However men... noticing this are (as in my past post) are becoming more .... 'feminine'.... and also some even opting for the idea that they rather not work and its ok for them to stay home, be lazy blah blah blah (not all of course but they are out there and growing!)
So what are we left with here?
Lets go to the Black board . Yes, things just dont add up!

Now mind you, despite the categorization in the terms on the black board....I dont even think that they neccessarily define women who are "sucessful" as being those that earn as much as the wealthy lady mentioned earlier. I think it just means those gals that are earning just enough - to be independently content.

So I ask: why did I even go to school? Why did I even spend that money, busting my ass through University? Those all-nighters! Those days of wearing the same clothes for 4 yrs cause I cant afford to buy any new clothes due to the tuition? Those years of just being a number. The lab where I had to kill that poor bunny and they insisted it was bread for experiments? Those times I said - no, I gotta focus on school first?

I think for the majority, but mostly myself, no matter how independant a gal is, in the end, she still wants to be 'taken care of' that sense of someone 'protecting you' 'providing for you' - Lets face it, we can be proud in what we achieved but its tiring doing it all yourself.

Well thats about all I need to dwell on right now.
My brain hurts! Thank goodness I think I'm kinda avarage anyhow. And thank goodness there is some hope for my regressing memory as I age - maybe as long as my IQ degrades I will have more chances in the future! And the fact that maybe my part time private clinic may close as well - heck that gives me even more chances of nabbing me a sucessful man! And when it comes time that I end up unable to even spell...... whoo hooo!

Tehn Myabe taht Scucsesufl man wulod be jsut auornd the crneor and cmoe srtiahgt to my door!!!

yes I know, excuses excuses :p and YIKES!

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

You Are Most Like Charlotte!

You are the ultimate romantic idealist You've been hurt before, but that hasn't caused you to give up on love. If anything, your resolve to fall in love is stronger than ever. And it's this feminine optimism that men find most appealing about you. Romantic prediction: That guy you are seeing (or crushing on)? Could be very serious - if you play your cards right!

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Its that time again... blogthings!!!

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure. You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

Your Passion is Purple!

You've got a ton of passion, but you don't always wear it on your sleeve. If something truly excites you, you let your inner intensity shine through. But otherwise, your passion tends to morph into energy ... which you never lack. You're a balanced woman, knowing when to turn on the fire in your heart.

What Color is Your Passion?

To date around or not to date around??

I agree with this article.
It says women should 'date around' before they settle down.
It goes on to say that men do this naturally.
But us women strive for some strange noble idea that being a one-man-woman is the right thing to do.
This is arguable of course.
Since, although I agree with this article, I reconize myself as being the latter. Me and my silly idealist views! I realize how "passive" I am when it comes to this, so I sit there wondering if this person I am attracted to is not the 'total package' or even saying that I should keep my hopes low. How contradictory to my other idealist view of never settling for second best when it comes to the one. (ya I'm mixed up)
I was also thinking how there is still a stigma to a woman who 'dates around' - having many bfs at once..... ie. slut. Yes this article says we must banish the Bad girl idea.

Thinking about this I found it funny as I remembered that my mother - far from being anything close to a 'slut' in her time and actually being a 'devout Catholic righteous' woman, actually had 2 PROPOSALS!! YES 2! at the same time. She talks about it humourously now, saying - well yes she dated my father and this Dr. at the same time - nothing was BAD about it because she didnt do anything 'wrong' with them (ie- slept around or anything), she describes them as both were just good friends!! wow!!! How did she do it? She kind of laughs and says how she had to make sure the other did not find out about the other while she was dating them, sorta like how she was proud to be skilled at juggling her schedule around the other. Though, of course, eventually after the proposals they found out and yet still faught for her affection! And she said she, as a woman had the right to choose! She said it was good to have options. Sometimes my mother amazes me hehe.
No, I dont want to be the type of helpless gal that puts all her eggs in one basket, so to speak, - forcing the person they are with to be the right one and being blind to reality as well, but this dating around thing at the same time requires some sort of ...... deception doesnt it? And if anyone knows me I am the WORST LIAR EVER!!! You can practially see it in my eyes.

But none the less I still do agree with this article and I am sure that since I agree with it, I will try to take steps to increase my choices before narrowing them down --- ahem, I mean find some choices actually!! Oh how the river runs dry in this part of the city! Sheesh!
(ok ok I'm still not trying to blame the city for my singledom, really I'm trying!!! hehe)

Its all in the posture.

Try this position while reading the newspaper:
>Sit up straight in your chair
>place feet flat on floor in front of you
>feet close together
>knees bent so that feet are almost under the chair
>stick out ur lower back and buttock so that it is right up against the back of the chair
>hold opened newspaper with each hand on either side, barely between the tips of your middle and index finger
>relax wrists so that the paper hangs as it may
>elbows bent to hold arms up
>but hold elbows against your ribcage
>stick out chest
>shoulders back and relaxed
>head straight up and back
>tuck in chin
>only lower eyes to read paper.


This is what a noticed on my subway ride today.
He was a very good looking, well dressed man.


... I think I prefer the manly men.
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And how fitting......

Like a magnet?

someone once told me
the reason why we are attracted to a particular person
not just a physical attraction but a personality based one
is that we are each like magents, with a certain kind of polarity
that can only match with another specific polarity of someone else
you know it is right because it is mutual
and when these two meet you cannot help it but to be attracted to eachother

anyhow, interesting thought.

What?

*Whistles*

Dum de do de dum........

*Looks around*

Sees YOU.

Ya. YOU.

What?

What are you looking at?

Are you expecting to see something here today??
Hummmm?


I was contemplating whether to post today. You know, not even acknowleding it... waiting for it to quietly pass. Since I am off work this week I dont have to be bombarded by the many 'innocent, yet stabbing' questions - So what are you doing today? Are you married? Do you have a bf? Any planns for tonight? - Oh Shush you Nosey Patients! hehe

I was thinking that it is a cheesy day. Why celebrate love on one day of the year? Marketing and $$$ is what I say. NO real purpose to it really. If you are in love with someone, you should show it everyday anyhow. And if you do get something special today and get iggyed my your loved one the rest of the year - how sincere is that?! Some PPl are cohersed to have to show love on this day. And really... not everyone has a significant other to share with on this day.... there are alot of us singledoms out there. Should we singetons hide and retreat today?? It does make others feel left out. Silly silly exclusive day. I mean, what if there was a Universal-skinny-ppl day or National-middle-income ppl day- - wouldnt some ppl find that offensive too?

Oh well I dont really hate today - even being single and all, fine- its a day to show love and there are alot of ppl I do love out there anyhow - not neccessarily a significant other. It shouldnt be made to make ppl feel left out. But it does. Maybe it should be marketed as a day to show-love-to-everyone-day (no no I dont mean hedonistic-orgy fest day). I remember getting valentines from my mother and my friends (as kids) and even my patients! It really cheers ppl up - maybe it should be another Christmas is what I say!
Well it could also be worse, at least they dont have a national "hate" day or something - imagine that - all the stores filled with black demonic like cards saying "Hope you fry in hell you bastard!" or "I'm boiling your rabbit, watch your back" or "hate you, go away, you smell, boss!"- stuff to express something bad.

So to all those and their significant others - well keep loving etc etc blah blah blah - excuse my bitterness hehe.
And to those fellow singledoms - Hope you do have Happy Valentines day!!!!
(ya know, not that I am being exclusive or anything ;) )

Oh and btw, I found this interesting article from VirginiaBelle

And some quote I got today from a forwarded email:

"Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" (Cinderella)

Just say NO! and G'day Dr. Phil

Ever meet those people who have trouble saying NO?
I'm sure you have.
We have probably been there too, ourselves at one tiny point, but some ppl are worse at this!
However, today I am just FED UP with one of them, FED UP I say!
Enough of this wishy-washy, maybe, hopefully, I'll call you later, possibly, we'll see, crappatolla!

This week is my week off. No vacations, lotta things on my mind and things I need to arrange. Among other things, I am looking for a new space to rent for my clinic. The building is being sold and all of us "tenants" have to move out.

Cold calling Dr's is pretty humbling. Anyhow, a couple weeks ago I met this supposively really WONDERFUL elderly secretary of the Dr I want to rent space from. She was soooo welcoming and made this intimidating task less scary. She was like one of those sweet older lady neighbor's that bakes you cookies every once in a while and babysitts the kids. We talked for a while and she actually was interested in what I do. "Oh we really need ppl like you, there is such a need and what you do is very important, there are so many elderly ppl around that need your help" Then she went on a little more than what anyone would expect "Oh I will definitely give you a call, I will mention it to the Dr, but we definitely could use you here and we have sooooo much room compared to anyone else in this building and it is not always being used, plus we have 2 rooms as well, that's just soooooo great and wonderful that you stopped by, I will definitely call you by this Wednesday, thank you sooo much. Now, don't you go making ANY decisions until I call you back ok? Don't you be going to any other place yet ok? I will definitely call you by Wednesday to let you know either way." etc etc.....Needless to say I walked away SOOOOOO optimistic!
2 weeks later, 3 Phone calls from me, and 3 "I'll have to get back to you on that; I cant give you a definite decision; I haven't gotten around to it yet, we are not sure about the times available" - I have just about given up! Heck, last time she left a message she even said - "you don't have to call us back again, I may call you tomorrow maybe to let you know, ok talk to you later"
WTF lady?!
JUST SAY NO FFS!
I think I can take a NO better than being lead on to believe there is any hope in renting from that DR.! It boggled my mind at first. I was thinking - "humm but why would she show soooooo much interest to begin with, more than anyone else I went to? The answer seems like a no but she didn't say, surely she would let me know either way like she said."
I was confused.
Then it hit me.
She is one of THOSE PPL. The ones that - for some gawd forsaken reason - cannot say NO!
She must be one of the worst ones I met, cause she goes out of her way to make the answer seem like a YES - that is how bad she is. Her No's seem like an overly exclamatory YES!!! and a little of a maybe.
Serious, I think this must be a sickness.
Either way, its not good. NOT GOOD! Be up-front ppl!
Don't say maybe when YOU KNOW the answer is a NO.
Believe me - the repercussions are far worse when you lead someone on to believe its a yes and they realize that you knew all along that the answer was a NO.

--- so what was I thinking about all this? How does it pertain to singledom? Let me summarize with words that my friend's Older brother once said to us when we were in HS and it stayed with me "The worst thing you can do is to lead a guy on." I'm sure this goes the same both ways though. I guess some ppl do that for an ego boost, ya know, too keep many admirers attached to them. But some do it simply cause they have no balls to do so. They don't wanta look like the 'bad' guy or 'hurt' anyone - when really - all they are doing is prolonging the agony and making that final cut off worse. WORSE! They think that final cut is going to just fade away but it is actually worse. And its also not fair to the other person that is being lead on, because their time is wasted, instead of having them deal with the answer NO and moving on and making other plans.
*SIGH*...........
ok so I just had to let that out.
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In other news, I actually made it home today -( since I am not working this week ) to catch the Dr. Phil show. Was interesting. Normally I don't watch much TV (ahem, shhhhush about my addiction to this :P), let alone Dr. Phil. But today the topic was about Love Smart Island. He analyzes the interactions of singles plonked on an island - both men and women to see what they are doing wrong in their singledom and quest to find the one. Well 'Love smart' is some book that he wrote about relationships and I figured that he was just jumping on the bandwagon with all the rest of those hopeful-useless books out there.... but after seeing this episode - I realized how much I can relate to it. So I may be watching it tomorrow ........... and that is a 'maybe' - meaning there is a good possibility if I am at home that time tomorrow (unless I am out for wings again), and it doesn't mean a 'maybe' as in NO way in hell am I ever watching that.
At least I say it as it is. Sheesh!


Ladies take this quiz. Too funny I got 10 / 10 - not boasting or anything haha.

Another patient comment

78 yr old female comes into the office.
Once we get settled in and I take an update, she comments:

"So are you going to a Valentines dance this Valentines day?"

(I'm thinking humm dance on a Tuesday night - odd)

I chuckle : "ha ha ha oh well ummmm nnooooo I dont think so"


"Oh no? Well, I think that in my time, there were more dances that the young ones went to"

"Maybe, but I still think there are alot of 'dance' places that ppl go to now, its just that they are very different," and me being soooo tired of the club scene at this point I add: "and I dont think that they are too great anyhow."

My mind pictures some lame scene in black and white where the gals all have long skirts and high heels and the fellows have shirts and ties and each are huddled to their own sides, while the men gently approach the women and cordially ask them to dance. The women giggle and bashfully accept. Ah so innocent!

I go on " I think that it would have been kinda nice to go to dances in your time"

She smiles and agrees (of course) "OH yes it was......... it was so romantic and the men ........... they were more like gentlemen. I used to go every Saturday"

I am thinking 2 things:
1) Was I born at the wrong time? I duno.
2) She had more of a life than me! Gah!

Random Thoughts

I was out tonight for Wing-night at St. Louis.
Since my gf and I are going through alot of stress with work stuff lately it was a nice break, and as usual we ended up talking about relationship stuff or even the lack there of. And the question : men where are they? etc etc. Blah blah blah.
A few things I noticed and a few things were mentioned, though not very up-lifting :

>This wing place is a franchise. But apparently the one up in suburbia - where we were is usually filled with older men. I think the reason why is because there are no waiters, just waitresses - and these waitresses make it almost like a hooterville joint. We go there only because its the closest St. Louis to where we live. Tonight my friend over-heard the guys at the next table talking about one of the girls. "Oh ya look at her tits! Oh I sooo love cheating! Ha ha ah!" Oh lovely, these are even grown men not adolecents. I'm glad that when I eat good food I'm so content I tend to focus only on the food and my ears go deaf.

>My friend mentioned that her female cousin is now seeing a therapist. Something to do with relationship sex stuff. See, her cousin used to be the love-em-n-leave-em type. Or actually its F%*!-em-n-leave-em. Very cold attitude. I guess some gals can be like this. Some ppl would call this a 'male attitude' but really its the 'scuzzy male attitude' (not all men are like this I know). I always think though, that most of us gals have it in our nature to want more, even though some may act like they dont. I could be wrong - but I only speak for myself. There is always some sort of emotional attachment to such things. Anyhow - dont know the details but the cousin finally lost it. Had a break down after realizing that she wanted more and wanted a relationship - but the ones that she wanted this with now did not want her. - Go figure. It makes me wonder how many ppl that sleep around are doing it partly because of some other underlying issue instead.

>My friend also talked about a mutual friend of ours who is in a horrible relationship. Though this mutual friend has a history of this and it can be quite draining to help her deal with it that we need to keep our distance. She told me how our friend said she is "stuck in this relationship". She cannot get out. Something to do with a lease for a place they rent, her bf not working and him threatening to take everything she has if she plans on leaving him, some abuse - verbal and maybe physical and her paying for his lifestyle. I know they are both at fault here but I chose not to elaborate. Sometimes you cannot advise ppl who will not take your advice anyways. And sometimes it is easy to advise ppl on things when you are not involved but hard to do when you are in the situation yourself.

>We realized that somewhere between highschool and post- undergrad school and the work force, some aspects of our self confidence has dwindled. Why? Lack of maintenance? Why? Lack of youthful lustre? (well we actually still look much younger than we are, compared to alot of those our age) We have accomplished alot since then in our professions but why the lack of self confidence? Why is it I have trouble accepting compliments? Other:"You are pretty" Me: "Oh but I dont like my hair today" etc..... Hummmm gota fix this attitude.

>A few other random things mentioned that are running through my head that make me sad:

- "Believe me, you say you want to remain friends and find other people and you want to know how the other persons life turns out because you dont see your life without that person, but when it comes down to it, you wont want to, you cant bear to hear it, it hurts too much."

- "If you know its not going to go anywhere and you are sure of it, then why do you still continue it?"

- "Sometimes when people say that 'They Can't', what they really mean is that 'They Dont Want To"

So as you can see - all total random thoughts. Nice diversion from work stress. Interesting to say the least.

Forgive me Father....

Ok so I was at mass today.
There was this guy there.
His name is Mark.
How do I know his name?
I used to have a crush on him when I was in grade 9.
He was in his OAC year.
(yes eons ago!)
He was a scawny lil fellow back then.
Duno why I had a crush on him, maybe cause he was cute, older and shy I guess.

Well........ boy did he ever grow into his skin!
Ahem, dang is he ever so fine now!
Opps sorry I didnt mean it that way...
Ok yes I did.
No no I dont have a silly lil school girl crush on him now.
Heck I dont even know him.
I'm older, more mature, I know what kind of guy I want.
But hey, I can still look cant I?
Nice eye candi...
Ok fine I know what you are thinking....You are in church for heavens sake! you are not supposed to be checking out the guys! did you even pay attention to the homily??!
-> Yes I was in church, I was just admiring one of God's creations, and yes - something to do with being fishers of men.... hehe.

Ok despite how bad that sounds, yes for the most part I was paying attention to the mass. Though I have seen this Mark guy there before. I wonder what he is up to now, what did he do with his life? Now I can totally be off on this one but it seems to me that he knows he is a hottie. Sometimes you can tell those type. Its almost as if they are posing. Yes posing. Why do I say that? Well, its this look he has - you know - looking over your head but aware you are there, not having to look at anyone in the eye because he knows all eyes are on him. Also.... near the end of mass he takes his coat off. And of course he has a nice snug moss green T shirt on to show off his chizeled biceps! Wowzers!!! Ahem, where was I? Oh yes...so here I am a few pews back in my turtleneck and winter coat on.... hummm temperature seems fine to me and everyone else in the church too, it was colder today than most of the winter so far- maybe he is going through menopause? Or maybe my eyes are burning right through his jacket telling him to take it off ?! ok ok, well neither... but sometimes it just seems as if some guys who are really good looking are just so aware of how blessed they are to be candie to every female eye in sight that they ......... pose. Ya pose! You know - those type that work out at the gym not really for health reasons but more for their own vanity, meanwhile when it comes to actually using their muscles for physical work or defending their gf in times of distress -they are lost. "Muscles only for show" is what I say.
... I'm sure I could totally be wrong on this - about Mark anyways, I'm sure he is a nice person. But it was something I was thinking of today, in general.
I think this holds true for the opposite sex too. I'm sure some guys can tell those gals that are good looking who are also pretty vain and walk around looking over your head or through you and they know you are looking at them so they dont need to acknowlege anyone else around them. You can literally see them .... posing! That little something in their actions that dont seem...... natural.

Well thoughts like this at least affirm to me that I do know more about what kind of guy I am looking for and I have matured beyond the lil school girl infatuations. And now that I am aware of these things, observing them is quite comical. Well, least it made mass quite interesting today ....

(Yes and now I'm just sitting here waiting to be struck by lightning anytime now ........ hehe)

In celebration of ...groundhog day :)

Not really into Shakespeare, but I do love this one. Im posting this after seeing this wonderful idea from Reya. Last time I posted this elsewhere...was for Valentines day.......ahhhh that wonderful day is fast approaching..... that wonderful day us single people sooooo love to hate ;)
Enjoy!
(Silent poetry reading...Shhhhh.... *ahem ahem......clears throat* )

Let Me Not to the Marriage of True Minds

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Times fool, through rosey lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov'd,
I never writ, nor no man ever lovd.