Summary of my quest!

Love reading this, Its Nutritious and Delicious!

Now, if this existed. I wonder if God would be so cruel as to place him in a place that is not reachable?
Some may argue that love can conquer all.
Others may say it shouldnt be so difficult.
Just a thought.

Ah Im rambling and my tummy hurts and I cant sleep!
I just hope I survive the next two weeks! Stress! (and my tummy! grrrrr)

Yet another test!

You Are Independent Sexy You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act" Except, it's really not an act at all. You're a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests. And makes men even more interested in you! What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

I got this from here

Another test to boost my intuitive ego hehe. Ah will people listen to my advice now? Still maybe not :op Just dont let me say I told ya so hehe!

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

HELP! IM SOOOO ADDICTED TO THESE AGAIN! I CANT JUST DO ONE TEST
This one is soooooooooooooo TRUE!!!!

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Kirk Cameron

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

Some people say....

Some ppl say that single ppl vent about couples only because they are jealous.
Maybe to some extent.
But its not always the case.
Infact we, being single, being on the outside looking in have pretty good insight into some couples' blindness.


Thus when you look at this.....

I think ppl would agree I am not venting because I am jealous!
I just call it like it is!

(btw I got this from here)

Apples & Wine: Another Email..........

now remeber, this is just an email so dont gimme crap and think that I made this up myself!
Its funny though. (cut and paste):Subject: FW: apples & wine

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave
enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already
been picked!

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to
women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with"

I think I will be reading this post everytime I feel down.......

You MUST read this!!! I like it. So read it. Now! ;)

What are you looking at? Click it already! :)

On the Verge.....

Ok I really didnt want to try internet dating. I dont know why exactly.
Maybe just....
And overwhelming, chest imploding sense of defeat in meeting someone the traditional way.
There is just something un- natural about putting myself "Up for Sale" so to speak. But I guess people do that every day at bars and stuff so this would just be writing it down on the internet instead.
I wanted to try other means first before taking the PLUNGE! And the attempts at that....(meeting ppl when I was in school, meeting friends of friends, joining sports and activities, joining singles activity events, going to a singles lounge event, being set up on blind dates, going out with a (gasp!) older co-worker ) ..... well so far did not pan out.

So Lo-n-behold, something - or maybe a few things - have shaken my present passive acceptance of my stagnant social life. And also the fact that I have been feeling that I have no right to bitch about it if I am not doing anything about it. I really applaud a friend of mine who has took the dive herself!

So yes, I am on the verge of forcing myself to do this. I say forcing because I am still not content with the method - for myself that is. (I know I should be more positive about this)
I know it has worked for quite a few people I know. And actually 2 of them are getting married next year. And they are wonderful people.
Ah, but its not my preference. But this is slowly becoming an option
*waves white flag in defeat*

However, being in line with the rest of my venting on this blog I just need to post some ...... ummmm.......... somewhat-humourous-in-a-nervous-laugh-sort-of-way blogs on personals ......

Take a lookie to what I found...... warning discretion advised!!!

• Skeeeery!
• Some overseas humor (hard to understand some)

Hopefully I will not run into any of these people. Or worse yet..... become one of them on these lists!!!!! da-da-da-dummmmmmm!

Lost Love

Just a thought.
I dont think that I have ever been in love.
But I was wondering when ppl are in love, yet cannot be together,
they cannot think to be with anyone else other than that person.
So is it ever possible for them to move on if the situation is such that they cannot be together?
Or will they meet others in vain and never fully give of themselves because their heart is somewhere else?
That wouldnt be fair to the ppl they do meet.

There is this friend of mine....
A few years ago she was with this guy from overseas.
I thought they were one of the perfect couples.
I really liked it when she talked about her bf then because they were just so equally sweet to each other and got along really well.
Then because of religous reasons and family disagreements,
they both agreed that it would be better to split up.
And let me tell you ..... I was even heart broken!
And this is when the above questions popped into my head.

Soooooo skip to present times....
My friend met another guy. And they are totally in love!
And everything seemed to fit better than before - he is of the same religion and their families get along really well!!!
I kinda wonder if she still thinks of her exlove because I never thought she could get over something that great! But by the sound in her voice when she talks of her now fiance, I doubt she does think of the ex.
I am happy for her.

So I guess life and love does go on just when you think you lost the love of your life.

Ah to be young again, full of hope....

A few sweet quotes from this Blog:

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,”

Nikka - age 6

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”

Billy - age 4

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”

Rebecca- age 8

And last but not least.....

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”

Mark - age 6

Unconditional love

Hummm lets break this down.

Unconditional. meaning what ever the condition it will not affect the present situation.

I think that the word love is over used.

"I love you.... mom"
is different than "I love you....... prada shoes"
is different than "I love my husband"
is different than "I love my ...... lover" ( guy I am having an affair with) ( NO NO this is not me its just an example)

I find that alot of people in the typical love relationships have used the word to describe:
"I love you only because I want something from you"
or
"I love you only because you love ME and make ME feel better and do everything for Me and I dont even have to do anything"
or
"I love you only because you make ME feel good"
- if you look at it closely its a - selfish love. Thus when the ME is not feeling the "love" then love easily turns to "I hate you!" "pay attention to ME dammit!"

What are the traditional marriage vows?...."in sickness and in health ....blah blah blah .... till death do us part... blah blah blah" No one actually thinks of that anymore and actually people omit those things now opting always have their own vows possibly leaving that notion out. In other words - leaving themselves a way out. So when the going gets tuff. Adios. 'Revaderche. Scoot get outa here!

I read a blog that said "true love is dead". Hummm if we look around in todays society that can be true. It is hard to find. Though in my naieve hopefulness and idealism (take it while you can cause I dont have much of that optimism lately :op ) I still think it does exist.... ........in a galaxy far far away! No no , I do believe it exists but I think (and have to remind myself) we have to look to ourselves first to keep it alive first before we can find it in others....
[yes I know, surprising concidering how critical I am :o) ]

shoot me if I end up with a "bad" guy

Oh lookie here. Seems like they were reading my last post! Weird.

Is it called forgiving or stupidity?

This morning was a frustrating morning
Grrr traffic.
Seems when I get pissed off about one thing then I get pissed off at everything else.
After cursing at the stupid drivers I started to think Oh well this patient is going to be waiting for me and that patient is going to be angry. Grrrr.
Sometimes being in healthcare, maybe just here, the ppl are just soo damanding! Everything is their right! So basically they have the "right" to treat you like shit becuase they pay their taxes when you are doing your best to help them... I mean, if I was not here to help them then I wouldnt have chose this profession! Gez! Respect is both ways ppl!

Anyhow that aint my beef this morning believe it or not. It was just an extension of my actual beef.

Why do gals go for assholes? Or, for that matter give assholes second, third, and 100th chances?
Some gals just think "oh he is nice now" NOw?! If he wasnt before then Im sure as hell believe he cant just get rid of that part of his inbred personality just because he says so. WE (me included) are just tooo giving ? accepting? forgiving? naieve? Why do we have hope that they will change? And why to we call them back? Is it because we have not much respect for ourselves to begin with? Is is because we think that this treatment is all we deserve? Im not sure. Seriously, If the guy is an ass to you once, fine. forgive. But a second time ? No MORE! thats it, just one chance. If he is an ass again after that then we know he was born an asshole! And for this matter.... we have to take into account how he treats others....
None of this...Oh he was mean to you? We'll he is not like that to me? GRRRR! Just because he is nice to you (for that moment) but a bastard to your friends, to the waiter, to his colleage, to other women, to ppl on the street....lets face it....he is a bastard to begin with. We all have our false masks we put on to different ppl. We just have to see which of those masks he is putting on. If he is mostly an ass then his mask is when he is nice. Vice versa.
I wrote once about how you truely know how someone feels about you, if they respect you, is how they treat you when you are down and just need a friend. Maybe it is easier to say this from a far looking in on what is happening to other ppl. And if it were to happen to me I would also be so blind. But some gals dont take a close look to how the guy really treats you. They focus on the good times, but not the fact that they are the ones always calling the guy, or the fact that you have to pick him up all the time or the fact that he blames you for his behaviour or the fact that he is not willing to give back and just sits there and lets you do everything, or that he doesnt respect who you are and is selfish in his needs only?! That is not a balanced relationship! Sometimes I wonder how some ppl can marry a man to only find out a few months later that he is verbally abusive or worse, physically abusive? I think its the fact that we have to be such detectives and highly intuitive because some ppl hide really well behind their good masks.
When someone disses me, I can forgive. But I dont see how some ppl can totally forget? I forgive but in the back of my mind I have my guard up for the next time they diss you. Just waiting for it to happen again.
This is how ppl get burned time and time again. If the fire burns your hand once .... dont put your freakin face in there!
This post alludes to something similar. I really dont know why we put up with such assholes! Why ?! Why ?! Why do we do it?!

Ahhhh so have I said all I wanted to say? So need to vent about this! Hopefully it is out of my system..... for now. So now I can carry on with my day. Phew!

Maybe she is just a workaholic...

Got a mass staff email today from Boss Lady.
She was outlining our holidays this coming Christmas.....

".....Friday December 23, 2005 - regular schedule 9-5

Saturday December 24, 2005 - closed (Public Holiday hours)

Monday December 26, 2005 - Boxing day (Public Holiday hours)

......"

And this is one of the mass emails back from one of the Nurse Practitioners...

"Did we decide to open or close on Saturday the 24th...or half day??"

- Now, she is an educated woman. She is very bright and intuitive and kind. I am sure she saw the "CLOSED" note. However, she is a "workaholic"- I am thinking she was hoping that that day would be optional to work if she wanted to. She comes in 1-2 hours before the Health Centre is open and stays about an hour after. I understand they have paper work to do but all the other NPs are caught up. She does not get paid for the extra hours and was advised not to do this. She also goes away for about 1-2 months in the summer to work in the rural areas up north where they dont have much healthcare. Wonderful lady...very giving and I think she has very socialist views.

What is my point?

She is also married and has a couple of kids in their teens. A family! AND she wants to work more??!! (she is not hard up for $$ either).

.... When people work this hard I sometimes wonder .... dont they want to go home to their families??!!! Me, being single, I can work as hard as I want to and rack up all the money I can (to plan for a life of supporting myself! gez - no Im not complaining!I digress)
I know I am assuming and I shouldnt.
Who knows.
Maybe she is simply a workaholic
Maybe she just is very enthusiastic and loves her job so much (in that case its great cause we need more ppl like that)
Maybe she has problems at home and would rather work?
Maybe she has an inattentive hubby?
Maybe she is tired of her family?
Maybe her family is soooo self sufficient they dont need her hanging around and being in the way?
Maybe she is secretly hoping to bank all those extra hours? (wont happen)
Maybe she is a brown-noser and thinks she can get a supervisor postion by staying the longer?
Maybe .... maybe.... maybe I am just thinking too much....

Kinda irks me though. Maybe I am just in my "ideal" phase where I think that if I had someone to go home to I would be hurrying home! Or maybe it irks me that she is more devoted to her work than I am? I duno.

But then again.... I am probably just in a phase. Those that know me know that there was once a time where I have once said "Geez some people are like they are joined at the hip, they are always together, I cant imagine being with one person for the rest of your life day in day out, dont they get sick of seeing so much of that person, I would wake up and see him there beside me and scream Ugh! YOU again!? I just saw you Last night! You're everywhere! "

Ah yet again...

Ok here I am being lazy and not writing or thinking of what to write at all....

Check out this link : Only for smart women and smart men!

An Old email I recieved but saw it again on someones Blog.....

Just so you know this was not made up by me... it was simply an email of why women are single, maybe you recieved it before.....

1. The nice men are ugly. (and/or fat)


2. The handsome men are not nice. (read: big shagging bastards)


3. The handsome and nice men are gay.


4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.


5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men,

have no money.


6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with

money think we are only after their money.


7. The handsome men without money are after our money.


8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat

heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.


9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual,

somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.


10. The men who are somewhat handsome,somewhat nice and

have some money and thank God are heterosexual,

are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!


11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose

interest in us when we take the initiative.

Lastnight

I was waiting to be seated at a restaurant lastnight after a friend and I had a full day of shopping.
The restaurant was crowded. 15 minute wait turned out to be more like half an hour.

While sitting down waiting for our name to be called I overheard a lady talking behind me. She was a pretty loud big lady dressed in red with a young son in a stroller and she was talking to her girl friend.

Lady in red: Sooo the kiss was soooo amazing! It was wonderful. I'm just wondering if he felt it too though....

Friend: I'm sure he did.

Lady in red: Well, I know, I hope so... I feel things are going really great with him...so I told him straight up what I need.

Friend: What did you say?

Lady in red: Well I told him like it is; I have a son, I'm not here fooling around; I really like you and enjoy our time together; I know what I want; I want someone who is there for me and for my son; someone who is there for us; who can be a father to my son and a husband to me; someone who is there full time and who understands me and my needs; not a fling or a part time or one time thing; I'm serious about this....

Friend: Oh really thats good, you have to tell it how it is up front...what did he say then...

Lady in red: (very optomistically) Well he actually was quiet, but I could see he was thinking about it, he didnt say much but I could see him actually concidering it and thinking it over.

Friend: Well thats good

Lady in red: Ya it is and I was like: wow this is great...I really do like him and that kiss was so wonderful
(then alittle bewildered)
But its already the weekend and he has not called back.... I dont understand why he did not call back yet...whats up with that?! He has not said anything since then...I mean is it just me that thought the kiss was so wonderful?

Friend: I'm sure he thought the same just give him time.

Lady in red: Yea I know, he was thinking about it, I just dont get why he hasnt called me back yet, ya know, even just to say that he is thinking about it...my heart is aching, I really do like him...


Interesting... I really hope this was not her first date with the guy.
Its funny how you have a different picture of things when you are not involved in the situation and are looking in on it from afar...
I have not read the book "He's just not that into you" yet and I plan to. Sometimes I wonder if we fool ourselves into thinking hopefully when instead we should just keep moving on....
Its a hard situation she is in.
Hope it turns out ok for that lady despite what I am thinking when I heard this....