Heaven forbid I become one of ....them!

So today I was talking to a gf of mine and I was bitching about this gal I had an encounter with and how she is really STUPID.

Ya it had to do with relationship stuff. And this other gal was ... well just being stupid! I wont bother getting into the details yet anyhow. But I was actually on this Stupid gals side! Tryin to let her see that she is above this dude, and that its no loss anyhow. Then she bites my head off and takes offence to what I say.

My friend clearly saw my point of view. However I do realize she is only listening to my side anyhow and has never met this other gal. Ah but even so.

So my point was totally misunderstood and infact I think when they say love (or whatever people think love is) is blind - that was not an understatement.

I was thinking how much do some gals degrade themselves over some stupid men who clearly treat them as shit? Why do they make excuses for them? I hate to see it and I have no idea why it bugs me so much when I am not involved in the situation to begin with. Maybe its the sense that "US" as women should look out for eachother and encourage eachother and show eachother that we deserve more, or maybe its because I'm afraid of - Heaven forbid - ahem, the title above?.
Ya, anyhoo - so thats the last time I try to be DR. Phil to some strange woman anyhow. My precious advice is only reserved for dear friends only. I mean I am one to be touchy when someone gives me advice but I do tend to reflect on it and push my anger aside and try to see their point if they are reasonable.... (maybe my friends would beg to differ who knows hehe). But heck, I was not the only one giving the same advice to this gal. My point? If one person tells you what your wearing is ugly - fine its just one persons opinion. But if many many different people say the same thing, dont you think you should take a look at your own wardrobe?

Why do women take offence to other women's advice ? Maybe she wouldnt have took it the wrong way if the advice was coming from a man. She went on to argue her point over and over and I kept quiet listening to the irony in it all. Total blindness.

My friend said "Maybe she is desperate? How old is she? We figured that she is a good what.. 5 or 6 yrs older than us. Maybe she is a cougar? Maybe omg .... our eyes will be blurred like her when we get to her age?" Great. My friend scared me there for a second. Who knows all things are possible these days. I cant ever rule out the fact that I may become like her. However she has a history of doing the same thing.
Anyhow..... I know I should be more understanding with it all since I am not the one going through what she is going through. I just kept wondering why it bothered me so much. Maybe its because she tried to correct me when its obvious she is blind to what I said.

What can I take from all this?
- No matter how much you tell people they are worth more than what they think - They truely are only worth what they allow themselves to be worth.
- I should really stop giving advice unless people ask (Ha! I can see my friends smirking right about now!) I just dont see how I can, when (believe it or not) I wish that good hearted people deserve to treated right - even though they dont see it themselves!
-And lastly, I told my gf to pleeeeease shoot me if I end up acting as stupid as this gal did.

Self Confidence is a funny Term

These are my observations.

People can get Self Confidence from many different influences in their life:

1) Others: "Well he thinks im pretty, so I feel pretty" etc
2) Running others down: "Gawd I'm glad I look so much better than her"
3) Self: "I am proud of the person I am and I am going to treat me how I deserve to be treated."

I know I know, I think this is a lame summary of something more, but anyways....

What I was thinking was... We often mistake #1 & #2 for being self - confidence, when really it has nothing to to with " self" at all.

They say....

(video edited out of post- click here to view)
They say that women are after money and men are after good looks ..... hummm how superficial is that?! Anyhooo I like this song.....

Email from work today

Making men lazy.....

Ok just some observations of this past week.

My gfs and I went to a Jazz Bar past Saturday night. I liked it. At least it was something different. We would have liked it more if we had a seat (though many were standing watching the band anyways) and if the lead singer would have been more vocal than instrumental. (I'm not a jazz connoisseur).
Anyhoo, as we were standing we noticed a group of people just a little younger than us in front of us. There was about 4-5 guys and 2 girls. The girls were practically all over these two guys (oh and btw they did not seem exclusive to their respective dates - share and share alike I guess. Whatever). The girls were pawing the guys. Leaning right into the guys face to talk, touching here and there flirting big time. And the guys' response? Um.... interested ....BUT in an INDIFFERENT way. They hardly did anything. Well lets say they hardly had to do anything anyways. It was more the girls crawling all over the guys than the other way around.
Now mind you, guys pawing the girls is not that great in itself but this was obvious to me and my friends that this was a one-sided deal.
This adds to my theory. Some Men are becoming lazy in the sense they dont feel they have to approach a gal anymore, they dont have to try to get to know them, they dont have to work at this whole mating game at all. They sit there, buy drinks for them selves and gawk at girls in hopes that the girls will approach them. (mind you I know this is not the case with all guys, but this type of man is popping up everywhere now a days). Men dont need to be chivalrous anymore. They dont even have to be gentlemen. Sad to say, its gals like the above that are partly to blame. They are easy. So why should men work? It was certainly obvious that night.

Then another thing along the same lines, this week in the staff lunch room, I was skimming through Maclean's Magazine. There was some article about some woman named Maureen Dowd, Pulitzer Prize -winning New York Times colomnist and author of a new book, Are men neccessary?
Question was: "The basic assertion of this book seems to be that the women's movement has not made many gains over the past 30 yrs...." She goes on to explain: "Actually no. Women are in better shape in many ways. Economically the feminist movement did alot of good. But in terms of culture, they made the mistake of thinking that women could suceed by aping men...."
Yada Yada Yada.....
So in this sense I think that she is partly right. All this Women's Lib Movement was good for many injustices that were going on and I appreciate what they did for us. But in another sense I think that the movement went too far. The whole mating game was based on the differences of men and women generally. As much as some women try to be agressive - like men, in the end most of us wanted to be treated..... as a woman. Thats were the balance of relationships come in. Now all these differences are being mish mashed together and added to the fact that its the thing now for women to BE the aggressor: "girl power", "gals gone wild" etc etc...some men have nothing to do but sit back and be passive. The present womans lib is making it so that we are sooooooo independent from men that we dont need them at all. When really NOT everything is about competition. It should be about equal opportunity not: I want to be a man so I dont have to be with one.

........................
AH well, I think Im opening a can of worms with this. There are many issues touched on here and I speak only in GENERAL terms. I know this is not the case with everything. But I will leave this with one thought:

I remember in grade 9 my english Teacher, lets call him Mr.M. Mr. M was 24 at the time. Kinda cute. We came into class one day and he said to us all, "Can I ask you guys something?" We looked at him. "I was on a date with a gal the other day and I held the car door open for her. She got mad. She took the door handle and slammed the door of the car shut and then re-opened it up for herself, then got in the car. Now, did I do anything wrong here? I really dont know what I did wrong."
I felt sorry for the man. He didnt do anything wrong. He was not saying "listen lady I know you are weak and vulnerable so I have to open this door for you because you cant do anything for yourself." He was simply saying "I am treating you with respect. The respect you deserve." (or in her case she did not deserve).

Lou Sir

Say that title very fast many times.
Yep thats me!

*kicks myself* (brace yourself for one of my not so great moments)

Grrr I say things
But do I ever listen to me?
Nooooooooooo!

Lets see.... not so long ago I was talking about something....
what was it.....

BASIC MAINTENANCE!

Gez!

*Thumps head against the wall*

So today was my clinic day. I usually dress more professional, than causal on Tuesdays. But today was different. I woke up tired, feeling Blah. Was raining galore, very gloomy out and not to mention COLD! I wanted to be warm and comfy and professional clothes just dont do that for me. I wore my warm kahki cords and a black turtleneck. I did however put makeup on (only plus today). And I skipped putting my hair up and I thought tying it up in a neat pony tail will do. And my glasses.

Got on the subway platform at Sheppard Station and found my usual waiting spot. And I looked towards the subway train to see if it was coming and happened to glance beside at the young gentleman 5 ft away from me....

At this point he is turning his head the same way as me (to the right) so I only see the back of his head. Then he turns to face the tracks so I see his profile.
Humm, not bad, kinda cute (I say in my head. I usually size up the opposite sex of roughly the same age automatically - Its a singles thing ingrained in me)
Then a sense of familiarity runs by me almost in s-s-s-l-o-o-w-w motion but for some reason this happens in a matter of seconds.
Boy.... he kinda... looks..... like ....... OMG!
I say this in my head just as he is about to turn to the left and face me. I quickly turn my head to the left too so far you could almost think I was an owl.
Stay or go... stay or go ? I dont think he would remember me. But what if he does? Then I would have to talk to him. I duno what to say. Oh wait.... I look like crap! Of all days! That would suck. After all these years and I look like crap. He'd think Im going downhill....ok go!
Still with my head turned to the left I walk towards my left.... away from him, weave in and out of people and find a spot hidden from him.

Gez, can we just paint a large L on my forehead Pleeeeeeeaaaassse?!

Who is this guy you ask? An old boyfriend? An affair? Someone I made a fool out of myself infront of? Why the drama?
No big deal actually... (Hence the L you are painting on my head at the moment, do it now! At least it will justify my existence!)
He is just a guy I remember from Frosh week my first year University. Dave. Some dude that was way too cool but kinda kept eyeing me throughout the whole thing. I thought he was cute but out of my league (ahem, meaning I was in a lower league - I'm not that vain ya know!) In the end he actually said I was very pretty. But nothing became of it since I was my usual cold self hehe, that and the fact a friend of mine kept describing him as a "player".

Ah I feel soooooooooo Immature! (keep painting that L would ya?!)
Thing is, whenever you see anyone from your past- whether it be a class reunion or just bumping into them on the street. You kinda sorta want to look and be in a better place than when you knew them long ago right? And sometimes your OLD insecurities come back, the ones you felt when you knew that person back in the day. Same thing here. My only console is that I think : Its not much of a loss since I dont hardly know this guy, we just did small talk every now and then when I saw him on campus and he dropped out 2nd yr to go to college for Criminology.

I can kick myself!
#1) I let my insecure thoughts get in the way today
#2) Maintenance. DUH. Helps fight away insecurites.
#3) I have accomplished so much since then what am I insecure about?!
#4) I missed out on a really nice opportunity to actually find out how someone I knew from long ago is doing!... I mean, things happen for a reason and when for some reason, in this big-ol- world, you meet up with an old aquaintance - Grrrr just say hello! Its usually a blessing in your day.

I tend to do that alot. When I see someone I know from long ago I either want to retreat or jump in and say hello. Thoughts can get in the way.

.... Oh and what did you say??? You say you ran out of paint for that L you are painting on my head did you? I know I know - its a very large L.

Sorry she is a SKANK but I like this song! ....

.

(this video was edited out of this post to make room for more music videos)

.

And...... I get music On my BLOG! whoo hoo!!!!

Shopping in Invader Territory.... again....

So the Familia is planning a trip into invader territory for some post US Thanksgiving shopping.
I was talking to the sis-in-law late lastnight regarding the trip.....
Sis in law: "I already have the stores planned out and my shopping list"
me: HUH?
Sis in law: "yes you can look up the stores in the site Primeoutlets.com"
me: WHOA slow down!

She is a type A personality - very organized and prepared.
I am not a type A. I really admire her for that!

I would have just gone there aimlessly wandering the strip mall not knowing where I was going or what I wanted. I thought this was going to be a leisurely trip to find some good deals.....

I'm thinking I could be wrong.

To Bring list:
Runners
Map of mall
Shopping list
Energy food / heck maybe even lunch
Raincoat
Napsack
Water for re-hydration
Walkie talkie
Cell phone
Mace

(this last one is because I dont like crowds and pushy ppl hehe - oh im joking of course! ....about the mace) .... I have very sharp elbows though.

So today I glanced over at the store list of the mall. My sister in law said she had only gone to 12 stores last time she went for the weekend. There are 170 stores all together!

Well I noticed something today on the website for the mall we are going to....
(Store lists)

Under Womens Apparel:

-Big Dog Sports wear
-Dress Barn Women Outlet

We dont have these stores in Canada. So exuse my ignorance. But from my perspective I was thinking :

What kinda names are those for womens clothes!?!
Seriously, makes a woman sound like she was ugly or belonged with the farm animals or something! Can you imagine? "Ya I got the perfect dress for you for Christmas I got it at the Big Dog Sportswear store, I saw it and just thought of you!"

Just to update here too....

If only our fortunes can be this easy to make......

(then flip fortune over)

All you would have to do is pen this in your agenda schedule and Voila!
Instant happy ever after!

Oh but noooooooooooooooo
Life just cannot be this easy! GRRRRRRRRRRRR
(Am I asking too much again?)

btw I got this from here

*wipes drool off of face*

Ok normally my patients that come in are seniors, some sweet, some crusty, some pervy, some lonely, some bubbly and happy.
So I go to work with no makeup, casual clothes, hair unstyled- just put up and away from my face.
ULTIMATE Low maintenance

Today I was driving to work looking at my nails (no no I'm not this vain). Since my cousins wedding I had my nails done and I just re-polished them lastnight. I was thinking to myself that just because I work where I work I should still keep my appearance up. Ya know, BASIC maintenance.

So this new patient comes in today. At first I thought this mid-30's looking guy was lost and looking for the dietician or counsellors something. Nope, he was here to come to my clinic.... and...........

DANG HE WAS SOOOOOO FINE! (I know I know I should not think these things about patients- but I am talking as a normal single female right now not a health care provider).

He was this tall, black, kind looking, hunky "law inforcement" guy ........... with a english accent! (apparently from south England). What is it about the accent that gets to a gal? I didnt think that I was impressed by accents that much but...... wowzers! It just added this extra somefin somefin to the hunkiness standing before me!

Anyhow, I felt I looked kinda crappy. Ya know, exuding my low-maintenance-aura and all. Its ok. Not that I am gona hit on a patient or something anyways. But it just reminded me that I shouldnt let my appearance go by the wayside, no matter what situation I am in. I should not just keep up my appearance when I go out with my gfs, I should do this all the time..... you know - be ever ready and prepared in my singleness. So as I look at the mirror in my office right now and see the worn out face, tired, dark undereye circles, scraggly hair tied back,.......... I know that alittle more maintenance is needed and - it would even add a little much needed self confidence in my boring life hehe.

Update

Cousin's Wedding was ..... well, it went well. Much more than I thought. Maybe I will update later but I think I thought and worried too much about it that I dont even want to spend energy thinking of it right now.

Another Patient story:

This Tuesday I had a regular patient come in. He was telling me of his fun time dressing in drag for the Halloween party they have every year down Church Street. He also mentioned that he and his Partner just celebrated 50 Years of being together! Wow ! What an accomplishment! I told him and congratulated him! I mentioned also it is pretty amazing concidering how things are these days. He agreed. Homosexual or hetrosexual, not many ppl are staying together anymore. Not for long that is.
We started talking of the many theories as to why there is such a high divorce rate or that ppl are no longer being commited to one person for a long period of time. We agreed that the first 5-10 years of marriage is the most difficult (Me not being in a relationship and Him being in a long time homosexual relationship, he is in his mid 70s).

One thing he mentioned in the end was:
"In any relationship, hetrosexual or homosexual, you have to definately find something to replace the sex in a few years"
He went on to explain..... After a few years of marriage or a committed relationship, sex loses its edge. So if you dont have anything else that you enjoy doing with the other person or something that you enjoy or love about them, you will lose interest in that person pretty fast....

Hummm I dont know if I explained what he said that well but thats the jist of it.
Interesting.