Oh Grrr Im addicted to these! stop the maddness!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

I think the ones highlighted in red are not so much me though......

Im reading other peoples blogs too much....

So I came across this blog.

And I think this is the sweetest thing I heard today:

They (women) are happy just by "knowing you care and spend money on them regularly, and being the star among their friends and coworkers." Now I've heard this rumor before, that that's why women love to get flowers but didn't want to believe it. Silly me, I thought it was because they were pretty and smelled nice and brightened their day. Like women do for us guys.


I dont think I want flowers to be the star amoung co-workers and friends though. I think I would want flowers just to know he is thinking of me. And honestly I dont like the sound of "spend money on them regularly" ~ pretty superficial huh? I think it all comes down to the thoughtfullness he is showing. But what he said in then end of that exerpt was sweet.

Single vs. Married

Hummm ......
Some bitter voices on each side....
I dont exactly agree with some of the views that are shown in this article but it is an interesting read...
Though.... I wonder why my neck is all of a sudden so tense right now?

Two Points had me mouthing in big words "YES ! THATS RIGHT!" and pointing to the screen:
(under the single's view)

There seems to be an attitude harbored by many marrieds that they are the normal ones. Such notions cut deep for many singles.

But the No. 1 complaint among single women with married girlfriends is... the pity. "They get this look on their faces," says Fiona, 38, in New Orleans. "You haven't seen them in two years, and the first thing out of their mouths is, 'So, are you dating anyone?' Then they give me the old head-tilt, sad-face look. It makes me want to scream."

My point is that sometimes Married people totally forget that they were ever single:

Those folks who are married sometimes gripe that singles don't do enough to help themselves develop healthy relationships. "They say, 'All I want to do is get married and have babies.' Yet they're hanging around at the same post-college bar....

Just because they were lucky to find their 'better' halves at these places way back in the day, they dont know how it is to deal with singledom when they get older. Now, I dont hang out at the same Clubs or Bars as I did in University but where is there to go now? What Gripes my hiny is that they seem to have the answers to everything and the blame is soley on us (single ppl).... yet minus their 'better' half now and see how they handle the single game at this time and age. At times its not a pretty site out there. And no, I am not JUST blaming extraneous things for my singledom, as I said earlier we all have our different reasons and paths in life, but for others to assume why they know you are in the place you are in as if they have perfect lives themselves is .... well.... my gripe.

Ah I guess singles and marrieds should take both sides and try to understand where they are coming from. Some parts of this article just seem outright mean and bitter....maybe that is why my neck is tense....

Ok I like this blogthing site and their tests!

Though I'm not too pleased with the result for this.....
Just a little anti-climactic answer for the question of the test....

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Take the test.........

ah one of those quizes... Try it and see where you stand....

I dont think the fickle thing is a good thing about me huh...

or even the 'bouncing from romance to romance' .... dont know where they got that from.

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

How Are You In Love?

Where are they??

A simple question... difficult answer.

Where to find them ?

We all know that the Bar scene is not the greatest.....

We cant ask other single women because they are just asking the same question....

(and heck, if they did know the answer, why on earth would they tell you??? - to have more competition? I dont think so)

Maybe the answer is looking into the minds of single men??

Interesting....

A mans point of view I guess.....

WE all have our reasons for being single (those of us that are).
And I think that it changes every once in a while too.
At some points we like to think that the reason is something other than ourselves.
But I think in reality, those of us are single is because, as this man says, of the choices we have made in our lives.
When you look at it, if you are single and desperatly dont want to be, its pretty easy to find a person to just hook up with. Alot of ppl out there are lonely. But just hooking up with someone does not mean you will be happy.

Also I think that most of the time the people who are single are just frustrated that we have not found the 'one' for us. No one wants to be alone forever, we are all searching for the same thing.
So we all have our reasons. To a great extent our life is how we make it.

BUT I think its important though, that others out there (and including myself- I have to remind myself all the time) do not look at single people and say ASSUMINGLY: "well this is why YOU are single>>>" then go on to expain other peoples situations.

In the end we are all looking to be loved and to love someone back equally.

Prey

Feeling like this is an awful feeling.

I wonder if single people feel more like prey than non-single people.

Had a patient today who asked me how I was doing (while we were waiting for the elevator)
"I'm alright, how are you doing" I said with a smile.
"alright?! thats not good! thats as good as saying awful!" He says as we enter the elevator
"well, no actually, alright means between awful and really great, so I'm somewhere in the middle, so I'm 50 / 50" I explain jokingly.
Once we are in the elevator he puts his arm on my shoulder, goes closer to me (he is in my face!) and says "well, tell me..." in a lower voice, "what is the other 50 % that is not so good?" Then his hand travells down to my shoulder blade and his two fingers start rubbing my back up and down just by my shoulder blade with somewhat pressure, as if he is massaging me.

I feel like lifting my arm to throw his arm back, block it as I use my other hand to punch him in the face. But I dont do this. Its hard to know when patients are being friendly or just damn perverted! He is 79 yrs old!!! I am in the corner of the elevator near the buttons so I cant back away.
"well the 50% that is not so good is that I'd rather be outside than working" I say louder.
After a while, he takes his hand away and says " Oh well we are all like that then, that is like everyone else"
"OKay! then! " I say immediately and louder "Then I'm perfectly great!" I exclaim in an attitude that says 'Okay I am fine and I dont need your 'comforting' so back off- with a smile though'
He backs off into his side of the elevator then says "Okay then thats great hehehe"

I wonder if its just because I am a tiny gal that he treats me like that?! I'm sure if I were a tall man and his medical doctor he is not about to touch him and say that!

Or maybe old people have NO sense of PERSONAL SPACE???
Dont touch me old man!

Then as I am treating him the conversation goes from his farm house in the outskirts of T.O to "So when are you getting married?"
"Um, in two years I say" ha ha

Now, If I were married would he be treating me this way too?

Sometimes, in some cases I think its better to just wear a ring on my ring finger and tell people I am Happily Married to my BIG tall STrong Husband - just to weed out the creepy old men and weirdos. Sometimes being married makes you somewhat safe from all this....
I guess it must be a good deterent for some, and much better than drop kicking the old guy and telling him to back off!

Cat Fight? Bring it Biatch!

I'm thinking wedding situation.
(Since I have to go to one soon next month, Ugh!)

I'm thinking brides maids.
(Since I have to be one of these ... yet again, double UGh!)

I'm thinking dress deciding : colour, fit , style.

And I'm thinking disagreements.

......I ask fellow women out there...... who is our worst enemy when it comes to these situations????????

The bride? NO
The other brides maids? NO
The brides mother? NO

..............

Its the Flaming Flambouyant Gay Uncle with an ATTITUDE who designs the dressess secretly wanting to design his OWN freakin freak-show wedding!!!!
(no offence to any gay people out there, but seriously, this is NOT HIS WEDDING!)

*says sliding head over shoulder to shoulder* :
He, give ME attitude?! OH I Swear to you, He is sooooo NOT on my girlfriend list! Bring it on Biatch!!

Can Speedos be hypnotizing ?

???

Answer: No. Unless it is this recursion pic.

Why do men think speedos are sexy?
Something has to be said about men who squeeze themselves into these things.
I'll give Hasselhoff credit for his flat abs, but when I see men in speedos I feel the need to look away.
If you are a single guy wishing to attract the opposite sex on a beach or by a pool, this is not the way to go. Its not even sexy as underwear.
Boxers guys Boxers!
Even those tight boxers are great.

No speedos.

Singles Week

I heard on the radio the other day that this week is offically singles week.
"A time to celebrate in ones single-ness.... if you are single."
They went on to say that a survey they conducted some where from some sampling of the population showed that :
30 % of single women are Happy in their singledom
and 31% of single men are Happy in their singledom

Question: Where do they get these surveys? And where do they get these people? And is this a "wonderful" finding or a "not so wonderful" finding?

Think about it...
This means 70% of single women are unhappy!
Celebrate? ..... I think not.

Qualities

on a more positive note, no particular order.....

supportive
empathic
understanding
protective, not possessive
strong
kindness
generosity
humor
intelligence but not pretentious
compassionate
encouraging
honesty
fidelity
tenderness
sensual
decisive
respect
good values/morals

did I miss anything?

Intro 101

I tend to write things down to let things out the moment they happen. Thus at work unfortunately I use the pc there. In the NOTES section of my email account I felt the need to write this way back in January of 2004: (cut and paste)

So I'm wondering if I should write a book.
Not sure what the title should be yet.
Maybe:"I Don't Want Your Garbage." "I Am Not Broken"It would be about the tribulations of being single. How others should not treat you. And the experiences of a single gal that only she could notice. Sometimes, well-meaning (?) friends or accquaintances either say things, treat you, or put you in situations that make sense to them, but to a single person they don't. Its almost common sense from a single person for a non-single person. Kinda Bridget Jones-y but different somehow. For those Married or coupled people who find that they are offending their single friend and don't know why, or for those that even just have a single friend - that they actually care about.
Topics can include:
1) do not treat us like we are broken and need to be fixed, also we do not want your pitty.
2) helping us find potentials: we don't want your exs, your rejects, your loser odd/ scary cousin 20 yrs older than us who has never stepped outside of his house in 15 years; or the oddball in your office who is strangely quiet, stutters and can't even look you in the eye, or any guy with the description ".....BUT, he is really nice.", also we don't want the guy who is secretly longing for you or vice versa. we are not desperate!
3) how the wife or the girlfriend should treat us - not as a threat! we do not want your man, and if he thinks we are attractive it is not our fault, we are not all potential "other woman"s, we do not want a man that has a high infidelity rate or one at all for that matter anyways. we are not competion anymore he already is with you.
4)Questions not to ask: whats wrong with you? don't you want to be happy? Why are you single? do you even want a boyfriend? do u have a boyfriend YET? are you dating anyone? (likens to #1) or are you married??!!?? (where'd that come from?)
5)Statements we do not want to hear: well you had your chance. all the good men are taken already. you are just too picky. at your rate you'll be an old maid. but he likes you and thats all that matters. beggars can't be choosers.
6)Questions you can ask: so whats going on in your life (not one particular aspect - puts equal importance to all parts of your life), Are you with someone (more gentler term than those in #5), what have you accomplished in life?, career?
7)Statements we want to hear: you've done very well for yourself, some guy would be so lucky to be with you, no wonder you are single there is no guy good enough for you! (whoo hoo - is that askin too much?)

Weddings

Ah I have a wedding to attend in October....
Another celebration of Luuuuuvvv....
yay.
ya right.
Well, I do hope it turns out great for the bride and groom though.
As for me, I'll deal with it somehow.
Check this out.

Metrosexuals

girly men
men not out of the closet yet
some mama's boys
passive men

Ok so the above somewhat fall into the same category.

Metrosexual
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Metrosexual is a term coined in 1994 (along with the noun, metrosexuality) by British journalist Mark Simpson, who used it to refer to an urban male of any sexual orientation who has a strong aesthetic sense and spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. He is the fashion-conscious target audience of men's magazines:
Outside Britain, in its soundbite diffusion through the popular media, metrosexual has congealed into something more digestible: a heterosexual male who is in touch with his feminine side - he color coordinates, cares deeply about exfoliation, and has perhaps manscaped.
Check out more info

So apparently, this was a fad I think. It was very popular not so many months ago.
Thing is .... some women are actually attracted to these men!
I mean, I see them alot downtown in the business district. Very stylish, some may even call them HOT or a good dresser. Well kept, very GQ.
DO these women actually think these men would want them?
To me it is a fancy term of calling a man who thinks or wants to be hetrosexual but in reality he is flaming gay inside!
Now, dont get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with Gay men. They are even sometimes better than girlfriends to a gal. BUT its when they are gay inside and pretend to be not gay outside. That is not fair to the naieve gals who fall for them. Imagine that.... your metrosexual bf cheats on you with....... your brother or at least hits on your brother or someting! gez! Talk about getting therapy to recoup fromt the breakup of your metro man!

Seriously guys, if your Gay, just say it! Dont mask it! Be proud! Then go after some other man of your interests and leave us single women alone!
Since this is a "trend" so to speak there are alot of men out there "embracing their feminine side" and actually saying and doing Metrosexual things and are proud of it being "metrosexual".

I sound bitter you say??

Well yes. I have a freind who is "metrosexual". He is a freind who was set up on a date with me. A blind date. I could tell there was something off just by the sound of and Pro-noun-ciation in his voice on the phone. Ok maybe its just in my head, I said driving off to meet him at a cafe. Then I met him....Yikes! When I saw him he was pretty metro. Hair slightly long and slicked back. ....what manly manly sport man greases back his hair? No not gel and all, it was slicked back. ugh! (Oh and seriously, who wants a man that uses more hair products than yourself anyway?) We got along fabulously! So much in common. He was at a good phase in his life, well established and a professional. Kind. Cheerful and happy, not a negative bone in his body and funny too. But somehow while laughing and joking and talking with him I soooo could not see myself with him.... even if I tried. It would almost be like being with a gal! He tried to show interest in that way to me but I just was not feeling it, and I know he wasnt too. Maybe he was forcing it. But I would never tell him that I think he is in the closet and to stop torturing himself. I think that would hurt him more. And he is too much of a kind guy.

Men, or manly men, men that are the men that we, or at least I want to be with.... Are not metrosexuals. This does not mean I want a man that smells and is a slob and is lazy and doesnt care about his looks or maintenace at all, but someone who is not, well,.... a stylish girly man.
Just so long as he cleans himself and smells like soap or downey fabric softener. Is neat and relaxed in clothes and is comfortable in himself. Yes neat and clean and relaxed....... and of course, strong and protective and not vain, a gentleman, someone who treats you as the princess.....not wanting to be the princess himself!

I could go on about the metrosexuals or that whole metrosexual revolution but Im just going to leave this post here.