Update
So today was my first day working at my own part time clinic. Working with new GPs and new secretaries.
One word.
ICK
Wait, is that a word?
Well there are 3 docs in this semi big office and I think they have been there since hummmm before I was born. Leme tell ya that is a loooong time ago.
How can I tell they have been there that long?
Maybe its the fact that once I step into the office it looks like one of those old photos that I would see my dad in during the late 60s early 70s.
Old deco. And maybe its also the fact that I think these docs are pack-rats - GAH - things are piled up everywhere! Even the dust bunnies! Office of 3 men docs go figure its filthy! Dont think they cleaned since the 70s.I miss my old clinic. I glanced at the vacant building from across the street. Sigh.
Oh ... where was I.....
yes..... as I mentioned not so long ago, my patient wanted to set me up with some guy she met at the local pharmacy near my clinic.
So today I sauntered off to the pharmacy to "check him out" like my patient soooo adamantly told me to do. I walked in and saw the back of some tall, lean, 'same nationality' guy. "Yep thats him" I thought. But I should at least get the most outa this right? You know, take a good look at him, see how helpful he really is, confirm his name - get to know him a little better.
So I head towards the aisle I was looking for to buy some ... Latex....
Gloves. For my clinic.
Humm vinyl are better, but they dont have my size. I go up to him and ask him if they have this particular one in my size. Blah blah blah. He actually seems soooo nice and helpful he immediately...Whips Out His....
Pen. To write down the order..... Size small, vinyl exam gloves......
Anyhow after some Ummms and Ahhhhs contemplating my choices, I tell him its ok and that I will just get the latex gloves. Yadda yadda yadda thank you, no problem, and he is about to walk off. I turn around as he passes. "Oh and by the way, whats your name?"
"Oh its Nathaniel"
"Ok thank you"
I turn the corner and disappear out of that aisle.
Not bad looking, kinda young, stock boy, and I think the chances of him being hetro are 75-80% ?
Well I did it. Got the info I needed. I'm kinda flattered that my patient thinks I'm "just as nice as him". But thats about it. No go. Like I thought.
Least it made my day a little interesting. Sad, I know.
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Other sad news. Actually its not new. I knew it all along about myself but a couple things that happened in the past week have confirmed it. Again.
I am totally inept at flirting.
Last weekend I had my hair cut. "Please keep it long and put step layers. " My hair is normally straight so blowdrying it with a round brush ..... well anyways.... layers gives it more shape.
She did this:
(sorry about the grainyness)
I never had this much curl before. What a difference it can make though. I was driving home and I stopped at a stoplight. I turned to get something out of my purse in the passenger seat. I glanced up and noticed that beside me was this yuppie-ish man looking at me from his SUV next to my car. He smiles, then waves, then smiles. I smile, I wave back. He points to me then motions that Italian gesture where they kiss the tips of their fingers and burst them out as if to say "bellisma!"Or I think that is what it means (no no Im sure it wasnt that back flip of the hand under the chin motion hehe) So what do I do? I laugh and smile bashfully and go back to fishing for that thing I was looking for in my purse. Yes. I went back to being interested in my purse?!? ugh.
The other thing that happened was on the subway today. I was sitting beside and across this good looking gentlemen. I'd guess maybe he was my age or 2 years younger max. Dressed good for work but casual. Maybe this is just me... but do you ever feel when someone is LOOKING at you? Well after avoiding looking back at him, I fixed my eyes on the ever so interesting floor infront of him. He finished his Timmys coffee and started playing with the sipping tab of the coffee lid.... (at first I didnt notice) then .....Click Click.... Whatever, I thought...... click click.... I look at his shoes..... Click Click Click.... Hummm my eyes glanced at his cup on his lap..... Click Click Click Click Click!!!...... What the?! I glanced up at him and he was looking at me. He smiles at me....click click.....and smiles again. I broke out in a smile and a little chuckle at his sillyness. He chuckles too. I guess he caught my eye. But, as quickly as that moment came it went. Cause I looked away again. Then he left to get off at Eglington station. Gah! ever have those tiny moments?
Anyways, my point is sometimes I think I could have done more, or said more. Like those times where you do a double-take on someone and you know they did the same to you, then your eyes meet, yet in my case I can never follow it through, I always look away. But Im a chicken, or simply shy.... or as I mentioned totally inept at, oh nevermind. Sad sad sad.
posted by ~Moi~ @ 5:26 PM
6 Comments:
"Ick" is a word. It's a disease that fish get. ask anyone who's ever had an aquarium.
What's wrong with dust bunnies? They're the cutest and lowest maintanence of all household pets.
So, you prefer vinyl to latex? Hmmmmm...
Is "pen" some new slang term that you Canadians are using for whatever it was that he whipped out for you?
Now, about that advice you tried to give me about reading sex blogs: You're such a tease!
You have really beautiful hair! Of course, I have a thing for long hair. I hope that's not too forward of me.
You are indeed a conundrum. You seem fairly open about yourself when you're blogging, with only some slight reservations. I think you're too modest to believe that guys think you're attractive. It's kinda like the discussion we were having with your "I said I wouldn't" post. You have a problem with compliments unless they come off as jokes.
That, or else your post about "why you don't have a boyfriend" is completely on target.
My guess is, either blogging allows you to retain enough anonymity that you can open up more to those of us who visit. Because we're safe to interact with since none of us really know each other. And there's almost zero possibility of ever bumping into one another. Or else you're really afraid of a real relationship because it will mean opening up to a relative stranger. And that's a perfectly normal thing to feel for any of us. Especially if we've been hurt before. Or have had a really bad relationship with someone.
Or, I could just be full of it...
remember that everything happens just the way it's supposed to. which mean you're being you and that's all you can do. if it's meant for you to see the finger tip kiss man, then you'll see him again. that's how the universe operates. as far as the click-click man, you didn't need to have any further contact with him. who does that, anyway? was he mute?
however, if you want to be bolder, give a bit more eye contact. this way, they can approach you without you having to step outside of your element.
As a guy, let me say that doing those little things are sooooooo darned hard! At least, they are for all us normal guys: those of my friends who find it easy, well... let's just say that I wouldn't wish them on most of my female friends.
Anyways, my point was just that if a guy does something like that he is usually looking pretty closely for the girl to give him some positive feedback. So, if you smile, then look away, but then look back -- bingo! Positive reinforcement, and the guy will move forward.
Hmm, ahh well, what do I know: I'm certainly no expert on it. :)
hummm interesting comment "It" , can I call you "it"? hehe
Ya I am figuring that they want that signal - the looking back thing. Being sometimes extremely shy and probably not having enough confidence to accept compliments at times - and maybe growing up in cold T.O - I find it hard to even smile back - but I did these 2 times - so also adding that looking back thing is hard to do ! haha!
Im workin on it. Just so paranoid of giving the wrong guy the "go ahead" signs - how will ya know though if ya dont try right? :p
Ah too complicated! I just think tooo much sometimes! - but you must know how that is ... fellow scorpio! hehe
haha, I guess you can call me "It", although methinks of meself as Tats. :)
The looking-back thingy is hard for sure. Making eye-contact with a stranger and then willing yourself to smile?! GAH! Makes my head hurt! It's like... you can't will your face to make a normal expression. Ahem, or is that just me?
But you know, in the end all the flirting-type stuff really only matters at the very beginning -- once ya know somebody a bit that whole "thinking too much" thing ends up being a good thing, right? I mean, nothing is sadder than a brainless bimbo after she runs outta things to talk about. ~sighs~ But then, maybe this is just me thinking too much! Gah!
-Tats
everyone has those hindsight is 20/20 moments???i think but what the hell do i know?If a man "clicks" his "lid" early in a relationship you wont be satisfied,so you were better off letting that one go pmpl
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