This is sad but I am slowly coming to believe this:

There is no THE ONE
Ha!
I have accepted defeat!


From what I see there are many different variations of the 2 extremes:
1- those that live their quest for the one by going from person to person - they have a list of people. Sometimes it looks like their judgment is ridiculous and that they dont put too much thought into it. Just doing whatever comes up, whatever they feel like. They do this in hopes to get a better idea of what it is they are looking for, who it is they will be happy with
2- those that are extreme opposites, meticulously analyzing things, being careful with every step they take, making sure to guard themselves from being hurt. Trying to find the one that would less likely to hurt them, someone they can trust and depend on. And slowly they give of themselves when they feel safe.

They are both striving to find "the one"
Who is right who is wrong?

Actually I am becoming convinced that The One does not exist.
It happens only by.................. sheer LUCK......... not effort.

Its not about finding someone with the same values or morals or someone you can trust or feel safe with.
Thats crap.
There is nothing really that can glue people together for life.
I think its only luck and time that will tell if something will turn out ok or not.

Think about it, there are ppl that have known each other for over 20 years and have come to realize even then, that they really DO NOT KNOW the other person!! Its true.
You never really know a person no matter how much you think you do or how open your conversations are or how long you have known them. The only way to really know the other person is to be that person themselves! And heck, alot of people dont even know themselves fully anyways!

Then there are alot of people too, and I guess its normal human nature (we are all are acused of it at one point), who - because they are happy they have so many thoeries as to how to find THE ONE and make it work.
Thats crap too.
They have those theories only because this "luck" has worked for them till that point so far. But any second, the rug can be pulled right from under them, and their whole theory crumbles before them!
Really, it all depends on how much TIME will allow them to have. They have found the "right now" or the "2.5 yrs" or even "17 yrs" person. Its not "the one".
Its not about finding "the one" in a person ......it maybe about having the sheer luck of finding someone that will grow in the same path you are on for a longer time until you die or one of you dies. Then you can look back and say you found "the one" and it worked. But by then one or both of you will be dead, so no one can really say they found "the one" when they are still living out the TIME they were given.

Its more of a fluid process than a stagnant affirmation.

This thought explains some things that I have seen or even experienced.
You never really ever know someone. So if you think you ever found "the one", do not be content in that thought, walk carefully and never let your guard down, no matter how blissfully happy you are, dont be satisfied and assume it will last forever, never think that the great gal or good guy will always be that way, dont give your whole heart away. Cause then in the end you will be left with nothing.